gracebecomesher

Kindness

2011-11-30T10:37:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, in a little green envelope, I received a note from someone who remembers the thrill of going to the mailbox and seeing the handwriting of someone you love. Christine Mason Miller seems to know the exact day or time of your life when you could use a little reminder of who you are and may have forgotten. I was standing next to this photo of my family taken at our daughter's wedding when I read Christine's simple yet powerful note. I looked up at them and thought, yes, they are!
Yes, we are. Yes, we all are precious.
And, sweet Christine is among the most precious and that is why I can't wait to join her for the book launch of Desire to Inspire on December 15th in Santa Monica.

It will be EPIC.

EnJoy,

Grace

The Sketchbook Challenge

2011-01-02T16:56:00.000-08:00

One of the many things I really enjoy about Facebook is finding out about things like The Sketchbook Challenge.

I'm going to do it and I am very curious to see where it leads. Please join me. It's always more fun with company.

Happy 2011 !

EnJoy,
Grace

Pick & Choose

2010-12-11T08:19:00.000-08:00

It has been a wild month since my last post. I could fill my space here with health complaints out the wazoo ( justified of course) OR I can prop up by booted right foot and tell you how blessed I feel. Up goes my foot, a sip of coffee and now a little reflection time.
The retreat led by Jen, Phyllis and Carin hit the mark completely. The title didn't really sink in or have much meaning for me until Sunday morning when I realized that Integrating in the Rockies was not just about meeting and bonding with women from all over the country and even one blessed soul from Canada it was to integrate ME! I wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed that weekend. LOL. I often think it is necessary to share all the details of a weekend workshop like that so everyone can get the full picture but this time I'm not going to do that. Suffice it to say there is something beautifully sacred that happens when women of all different backgrounds, ages and stages of life come together and simply be. As I write that sentence I realize there in is the discovery and the healing. It's challenging for us sometimes to just be. To relinquish our titles, our stories, our heartaches and our expectations but when we do, lo and behold,we are welcomed and received with loving arms and hearts. And that is precisely what it takes sometimes to meet yourself in a weekend retreat with 10 strangers who become your soul sisters.

I don't take this for granted for one single moment. Growing up with 4 brothers I didn't exactly know how to be a good friend to other girls. Being happy to play football, climb a tree, catch a snake to carry in my pocket or jump from a rooftop wasn't considered very girly 50 years ago. I had lots of boys to hang out with but not many invitations from the girls in the neighborhood. Since I was having so much fun I didn't really know what I was missing until puberty. All of a sudden, what had previously been cool to do wasn't acceptable any longer. The boys didn't want me ruining their fun and I didn't even know where all the girls were.
Fast forward to today. I can't begin to imagine my life without my girlfriends. Well, I guess that's not true. I can. It would be horrible and lonely. My girlfriends enrich my life every day in countless ways. Just yesterday, I was having a very big pity party(I'm surprised there weren't violins) and I called my dear friend, Mrs. B. Everyone should have a Mrs. B. I aspire to be the woman she thinks I am. Basking in her love and acceptance is nothing short of a miracle. When I can't find one single scrap of evidence to justify my taking up oxygen(it was a HUGE pity party) just hearing her voice reminds me of all that is good in the world, in one another and in myself. Mrs.B wasn't there when I called and her lovely daughter answered the phone. For a nanosecond I panicked when she told me Mrs. B was out of town. Gulp, I guess I'm going under. Nope, not true, not even close. If you are a loving being like Mrs.B then chances are some of that will be planted in your children and then they get to pass along the love just as well as their Mama does. After hearing her daughter's voice and laughter I realized love is love is love.
And love, woman to woman, in sisterhood, in motherhood, in second generation friendship soothes the soul in a way that makes me happy to be alive.
Being the oldest of my parents 5 children always made me long for a sister. Don't get me wrong having 4 younger brothers came with a million unexpected joys and adventures which have only gotten better as we have aged but there was still that missing connection.
Learning how to be a good friend to women was filled with trials and errors and quite a few memorable disasters. But once I got the hang of it life improved immeasurably. The reflection of life from a girlfriend is priceless. A good girlfriend is one of life's greatest gifts. When we were on the retreat it was mentioned more than once how important it is to gather with women. I don't think we were ever exactly able to pinpoint the why of that, but we all felt it and knew what it was in our heart and souls.
Today is the 15 year anniversary of the day our precious Sean died. My heart and soul sister Susan Fox who is currently running around New York like a chicken with her head cut off, since this is her busiest season of the year, made sure that not one but 2 cards arrived in the mail (yesterday) to remind me of all the love present in my life and especially in her heart just in case I would forget for a moment today. No way, when I was the dorky little tomboy, did I imagine a life blessed with more girl friends than I could count. And don't even get my started on the miracle of having grown up daughters x0x0x
There is a sadness in my heart today because my son is not with us. As his Dad says it's there every day not just on his birthday or the day he died and that's true. And, what is also true is the love we are surrounded by and filled with every day of our life.

This December 11th, I pick love and I choose to see it wherever I look.
Gratefully yours,
Grace

Voice of Truth

2010-11-11T07:12:00.000-08:00

In a few hours I will be on my way to Integrate in the Rockies with the little dynamo Jen Lee. My brain held a very long lists of reasons for me to not go. Tell me some, my husband asked. Well.........after a good 20 minutes of unleashing just the tip of the iceberg he said very calmly, " you need a retreat from you." Miraculously that landed in the swirly mess that was my mind and I said okay I'll go. And with that all the gremlins in the area descended. That was a week ago and as of this minute they haven't won the battle to keep me from going. Although when I peeked out my bedroom window this morning and the trees and ground were covered with snow I immediately thought the Eisenhower Tunnel would be closed, I couldn't make it into the mountains and oh well at least I had said yes but you can't fight Mother Nature. That all took place between 2 steps on my way to the bathroom. Sheez, I do need a retreat from me.

I have found amazing comfort and encouragement through many different blogs. This morning after I checked the weather, realized the Eisenhower Tunnel was indeed still open and that I would be packing my car soon I got really nervous. A few weeks ago I had the good fortune of wandering to Kindness Girl's blog and was instantly inspired. I'm not going to tell you much about her and her amazing projects and lovely way of being in the world because I would like you to experience her for yourself but suffice it to say when I'm scared I check out her latest blog and even when I'm not and I want to be reminded that good people are doing good things quietly and in their own special way. As I sipped my coffee and read her words I could feel my spirit lift. It turns out Kindness Girl is a wanderer too and she had a link to the very precious Jen Lemen. Jen is going through some big life changes and courageously shares her heart as well as her art in such a tender beautiful way that I had tears pouring down my face by the time I was done. I love brave women. I love how vulnerability births creativity. I love good friends that come to stand by your side to support you when your journey seems unbearable but they know somewhere deep inside you will find the strength to not only make it through but somehow manage to have a wee bit more of a shine to your smile when you do and they want to be there with you when that happens because some day you will gladly do it for them.
I'm terrified to go to Frisco today and spend the weekend with artists. I'm afraid that by the time I get there the gremlins may have eaten my brain. BUT, I know amazing new girlfriends will be greeting me at the door and will be rejoicing because each of us in our own way didn't let the gremlins win and we will celebrate together.
My life hasn't looked like my life for a long time now. I don't know my place in my family, in my world and sometimes even in my days. What hasn't changed is my faith in Divine Order. It wasn't an accident that I spent the day with Jen Lee in September at Squam Art Workshop or that she shared with me how she had once lived in the suburbs of Colorado with her husband and 2 small children and made a break for it and moved to Brooklyn and discovered her true calling, herself. She dropped an ember in my heart that day and it eventually fueled my curiosity about my own life. What am I doing? What is it I actually want to do? Where is my place? Do I have any gifts, any talents , any hidden anything?
This morning, I hope so. When I return on Sunday I hope I know so.

I'm weary of the old roles, perceptions and gremlins. I'm open to seeing what happens when I have a retreat from "me" and hopefully become acquainted with "ME."
For all the women who bless my life with your blogs, your wise words and your humor, thank you form the bottom of my heart.
And, to Mr. Moore who always supports me, I love you forever.
EnJoy,
Grace

Aug.16 : This makes me smile

2010-08-16T11:47:00.000-07:00

When I look outside my kitchen window and see my daughter's car in the driveway next to mine, I smile. She has lived away from Boulder for the past 10 years so this isn't a common sight. It's a wonderful new development of unknown duration and I am loving every moment of it.
EnJoy,
Grace

Aug.13 : Buzzzz

2010-08-13T12:22:00.000-07:00

Aug.12: Sweet hello

2010-08-12T21:14:00.000-07:00

Aug.11: Cleaning out

2010-08-11T12:51:00.000-07:00

Miss Melissa over at My Red Tutu has inspired me to de-clutter and clean out the cobwebs of chaos in my study. Well, Melissa and the fact that the bottom half of the cabinets just simply separated from the top half and was only held up a little bit by the storage box I had underneath. With head hanging I admit it has been like that for 2 weeks and I continued to open and close the door whenever I needed something from it until today. Today for some reason it struck me as hilarious and I decided to do something about it.

Hence the picture above. Most of the photos posted by the over 400 participants in the August Break are breathtakingly beautiful. It is a sensory delight to hit the slide show button on the Flickr page and just be swept away by their choices. Many are quite talented photographers. I suspect many are like myself participating to have fun in their world and with their cameras. Some days I angst over the quality of my photos and then I think of Susannah, our inspiration, who said, "there are no rules."
And then, I remember the F-U-N part.

EnJoy,

Grace

Aug.10 : Hearts

2010-08-10T10:19:00.000-07:00

I see hearts everywhere.

This is the first heart I saw in Buenos Aires. My daughter traveled to Central and South America over the course of 18 months. She graciously invited me to join her for 3 weeks and I am forever grateful that I did. The world expanded for me in ways I couldn't have imagined. But the best part of the whole trip which included Buenos Aires, Salta, the salt flats, Bariloche, El Bolson, the mountains of Patagonia, the beaches of Chile and Santiago was being with my daughter. To have her all to myself lovingly being my tour guide was worth every 30 hour bus ride, enduring the scary crossing of the border, crazy drivers, not knowing the language and every Dramamine I swallowed.

Now, when I look at all the pictures of our adventures I see her heart.

EnJoy,
Grace

August Break: Rain Flood

2010-08-09T15:02:00.000-07:00

Ever since I was a little girl I have loved the rain. Our house in Philadelphia had an enclosed screened front porch and the minute we would hear the summer rain we would run to the porch and pray for a "flood." The "flood" was just a little bit higher than the curb but when you are only 6 years old that's deep! We would patiently wait for the street to fill and the rain to stop. The second the water was calm and free of raindrops we were allowed to put on our rain boots and play in the street. It was heaven!
Thanks, Mom!

EnJoy,
Grace

August Break: Happy Hosta

2010-08-08T16:34:00.000-07:00

Hostas make me happy.
Pure and simple.
Memories of childhood.
Pennsylvania and playgrounds.
My little brothers & wiffle ball.
Life is good.
EnJoy,
Grace

August Break: Stand Out

2010-08-07T17:05:00.000-07:00

It's always good to stand out in the crowd.

EnJoy,

Grace

August Break: Summer Rain

2010-08-06T19:50:00.000-07:00

Isn't this so beautiful?
We had a intense downpour this afternoon and this is what I came home to afterwards.
It's true, it really is the simple things.
EnJoy,
Grace

August Break: The Sound of Summer

2010-08-05T18:29:00.000-07:00

This August Break has been so much fun. Each morning I am on the lookout for what it is that really brings me joy in our home. As I was sitting at the dining room table booking my flight to New Hampshire for the Squam Art Workshop my heart was bursting with joy. I stopped for a moment as my mind wandered to the beauty of the lake and how peaceful it is sitting on the dock as the tiny little waves ripple underneath the wood and soothe the soul. The setting is idyllic. Words fail me when I attempt to describe the wonder of this magically little piece of heaven. And then I noticed the sound of water coming through the deck door. Just to the right of tree and shrubs in the photo is a sweet little farmers ditch flowing right by our fence. Every year my husband climbs down into the cold, cold water and builds the perfect little waterfall for us to enjoy all summer. It's the sound of the season. In a flash I was sitting on the dock in New Hampshire and I hadn't even left the house.
EnJoy,
Grace

August Break:The Dancing Tree

2010-08-04T15:34:00.000-07:00

In keeping with the theme of what delights me in the morning, this is the view through the windows by my beautiful red chair. This tree is much larger than it appears and is usually in some sort of motion from all the creatures who scurry from limb to limb. This morning I spent a good 10 minutes watching the shadow dancing on our neighbors house before I realized what I was doing. I love that kind of meditation.
An unexpected treat of participating in the August Break is knowing that some of the women I love the most are playing along as well. Recently, I've read a few articles about Internet social relationships via Facebook, emails, blogs etc. Some people question the value and purpose. At the risk of being controversial( haha, as if I care), I'm going to stand up and declare, " I am freakin' grateful as all get out to have them!" So there. My world has been enriched and nourished in countless ways since I first read a friend's blog 2 years ago. From that one blog, friendships have been made that will last a lifetime and I am eternally grateful.
That's all for now. I'm off to check out the lovely photos on my Flickr village site and say "Hi" to my online tribe.

EnJoy,
Grace

August Break: My favorite chair

2010-08-03T14:26:00.000-07:00

Well, it's the third day of August Break and I'm sharing a photo of my favorite chair. This is where I start my day and very often where I end it. It's perfect for me and even better for sharing with a loved one. It took quite a while to find. I tested many different styles of furniture over the years and the minute I sat on this I heard myself say, "I'll take it!"
It was a frustrating process for friends and family who were kind enough to shop with me and I was beginning to wonder what the problem was but when I saw this I realized there wasn't a problem. Anything else I would have purchased would have been settling and I didn't wait so long to settle. It can be tempting sometimes to pick just to have the process over and I certainly considered that on many an occasion. Now I know to trust my "no's" because each one will bring me closer to my "yes."
EnJoy,
Grace

August Break

2010-08-02T13:53:00.000-07:00

Every morning I sit in my lovely red chair, drink my coffee and delight in the inspiration from the blogs of many amazing women. Susannah Conway is one of them and this month I am participating in her August Break. This morning, as I took a sip of coffee, I noticed how beautiful the sun was right in front of me. It's there every morning to greet me and say, "Hello." It's simple, calm and fairly consistent. I'd like to be more aware of the simple things that are right under my nose. Maybe that will be my focus for this August Break.
We'll see.
EnJoy,
Grace

2010-07-27T06:36:00.000-07:00

Susannah Conway has a fun summer challenge; the August Break .
I'm curious to see how many will make it here.
Time for coffee.
Cheers,
Grace

Nope, not about South America

2010-05-07T13:27:00.000-07:00

Many amazing things happened during my recent trip to South America to visit with my daughter, Catherine. Glorious sights, delicious new foods, crazy cab rides, long walks, plenty of cuddles and 1,000 or more photographs. What was the most life changing for me was the internal process that I am still integrating and not quite ready to write about, but soon...maybe.

Today I am feeling very human and a tad fragile because yesterday I had a horrific migraine requiring a trip to the Emergency room. If any of you get migraines you don't need any further explanation. And for the ones who don't it seems cruel to share the excruciating symptoms, so I won't.
My part of getting good care is trying to remember to breathe ( Catherine helped me with that) and to be patient. Here's my dilemma, when it feels as though my head is going to rupture and razor blades are going to coming flying out of my brain it's a tad difficult to be patient.

When I am finally seen I barely manage to tell them,"Here's the combination of drugs that the previous physicians right here in your very own emergency room have come up with that actually works rather quickly and thoroughly which seems to be in both of our best interests (I'm better and go home and you have a bed for the next person anxiously awaiting their care)," And then I give the list. Please understand at this point I would rather throw myself under a bus then have to speak at all because any motion or activity makes me puke. All the time wondering why I have to tell them at all ESPECIALLY since it is all right there in my chart! "Has this protocol worked before?" "Yes it is the ONLY one that has ever worked completely." They leave the room, "to see what we can do for you."
"What you can do for me???? I just f*cking told you what you can do for me because you are the facility that figured it out! Read your own notes!"
Here's the journey: while I am laying there sometimes crying but not as much as I want because it hurts too much to cry, I am saying every prayer I know. I think of all the people in the world who live with chronic pain, emotional and physical, and I pray for their will power, their strength and I pray for them. I think of how I am one with the whole and healing is somewhere so tap into the healing. I think this is only temporary, they will fix you or you will probably die when your head finally explodes. I think about how I am perfect just the way I am and that everything is happening for a reason. I go to my happy spot, laying by the beach, hearing the waves, feeling the sand and the sun ( with sunscreen of course), I am totally quiet and do nothing.
I think of all the remedies that have been shared with me over the years and wonder will one ever work for me?
But in those moments when I can not surrender to the pain or manage the pain on my own, one of my loving family members gently suggests it's time to go to the emergency room and in that moment I feel broken. All the healing work I've done, all the spiritual work , all of the energy work and all the prayers have not worked and I am now going to have my little 125 lb body filled with drugs because all I want to do in that moment is have one moment of relief.

My beliefs seem to get in the way. I think I am an easy patient. I know what's wrong and you have the means to fix it, what's the problem? In and out would be good for both of us. If you are worried that I am a junkie do a quick urine or blood test and find out. When I have made it as long as I can at home and finally end up on a stretcher the 1-2 hours ( sometimes much longer) for you to figure it out seems like forever. If it was the last 1-2 hours I had with a dying loved one I understand it isn't that long but that's not the case - razor blades are swirling in my brain and creating a huge force that is about to rupture!!!! That's the case.
Once in Houston I was in the waiting room for 4 hours and when they finally took me back they argued with the protocol that I knew was effective. This is what makes normally somewhat sane human beings like myself loose it. And then on top of it wouldn't give me the treatment I knew would work and I still left with the headache and a shrug of the shoulders, " This is what we do for headaches here."

If anyone has Cindy McCain's telephone number I would love to talked to her. I'm glad her husband didn't elected but I sure as hell admire her ability to be on a campaign trail with migraines. Walking to the car felt monumental to me yesterday, I can't begin to imagine all she went through.

I could make a list of hundreds of things people shared with me over the years from causes to cures. Some from family and friends and some from physicians but so far no relief or sure fire cause. One migraine med prescribed by a doctor made me feel like I was having a heartache. I opted not to take that again.
I know when they are coming, which ones are from allergies but the ones form the unknown are the most difficult. More often than not I am able to manage at home and that seems like such a victory.
I still can honestly say that with all my heart I believe someday someone is going to have the answer. Many a meditation and prayer have gone up from me that the answer would somehow fall into my lap and I'm still trusting that to happen.
Why am I writing this post? Well because I continue to be inspired by two women who are all about the truth. Brene' Brown who has taught me about being authentic, telling truth and to do my best not to compare myself to others. I knew I was comparing myself yesterday in the ER and it really did just make matters worse. And Danielle Laporte because I want to live the White Hot Truth she is rocking the world with.
It's a beautiful spring day in Boulder, Colorado.
Today, all is well in my world. A little groggy but still good.
Today, I am healthy, pain free and grateful that my head is in tact.

Whining complete.
Love, healing and well being to all.
enJoy,
Grace

I'm thrilled, still hopeful & good news

2010-01-23T00:05:00.000-08:00

Precious Readers,
I love you.
Many times I've mentioned, "it takes a village."
I believe that now more than ever. My heart has been so touched by your amazing comments and tender emails in response to the last blog about driving while talking and/or texting on our cellphones.
Each time someone tells me, "I signed the pledge" my heart rejoices.
One of the miraculous comments came from my friend who is a mother of a 13 yr old and 2 yr old, who I know for a fact talked on her phone while driving with her children in the car. I know this because she was one of the last calls I made and we were both driving.
She told me that after reading the post she pledged to stop.
Her children are very dear to my heart and her little guy calls me Nana Grace♡. The day we last talked we were catching up and her little one wanted to talk to me. She passed the phone to him while he was in his car seat in the back. It was as cute as any conversation can be with a 2 year old, especially when he ended with, " I love you Nana Grace." He then proceeded to tell his Mom he would hang up and she asked him to hand her the phone. That went on for a few rounds as it would when negotiating with a 2 yr old. I hadn't seen the Oprah show yet, but still my heart sank while that was happening. I wanted to say something but what right did I have since I was on my cell phone too. Circumstances had us finish our call shortly after.
My stomach was queasy during the call I had with her. I didn't like me in that moment. I knew better...why couldn't I say anything? This is someone who has loved me for over 20 years. She trusts me, WTF?
After days of reflection I've only come up with a few ideas and not one of them are admirable.
One, I enjoyed having someone "with me" while I drove. I liked catching up with people while on long drives, like going to the airport for example or simply running errands. It felt efficient to me. Mutlitasking at it's best, I thought. Even in those moments when I crossed the center line, just a tad, I somehow justified it. When i temporarily forgot where the heck I was going, I chalked it up to menopause. I thought about all the calls I made while driving and how much time they would take if I made them from home. Would I stay in touch with so many people if I stopped calling while driving?
This now strikes me as a similar conversation an addict has when justifying their behavior. A tenet of the 12 step program is, you can tell what kind of support you are looking for by whom you call. You know if you want to stop your addictive behavior or continue your behavior by the number you dial or who you talk to.
I couldn't speak to anyone the morning I wrote that blog. It was too risky for me.
The bottom line, I liked talking on my phone while I was driving even though the evidence was mounting regarding the danger to myself, my passengers and everyone in my path. I knew if I spoke to even one person who was still denying the facts, I might not listen to my heart and soul.
Once I heard Maya Angelou share her night time ritual and prayer. Paraphrasing here a bit because it was a very long time ago - she said when she laid down in bed at night she took stock of her day. She acknowledged herself for the things she did that aligned with her belief in God and love, and gave herself a pat on the back for those choices. The second part was just as important to her. She looked over her day and told the truth about the places she did not do the things she knew were the right things to do, the things God had laid on her heart to do and she didn't. She would admit those, ask for forgiveness and promise to do better tomorrow. This gave her a clear conscience and a peaceful night's sleep.
I think of that many times when I go to bed. I'm not as far along the journey as Maya. I don't feel good when I know I haven't listened to my heart. Forgiveness seems difficult for me. This is an ongoing practice of learning.
I knew if I didn't write that post I wouldn't sleep well for many nights to come and I certainly didn't want that.
Years ago when I was teaching workshops someone told me her definition of courage was "strength of heart." I want to have strength of heart and sometimes I'm afraid. Afraid of the conversations that might ensue if I take a stand. When I wrote that post my stand was on wobbly legs but my heart felt strong. After reading the comment from my precious friend that she would no longer be on her phone with or without her children in the car I wept. I wept because she gave strength to my wobbly legs and filled my heart with joy. This is the village at work.
There are still some people that aren't open. That's okay. It's not my job to open anyone's hearts, eyes or ears. As Dr. Angelou says, "When you know better, you do better."
Another tenet of the12 steps; you can set yourself on fire in front of someone to get their attention and if they are not ready to hear, you will not interrupt their denial. So for all the ones who are still doubting the statistics regarding the damage done by our fixation, and yes addiction to talking and driving, I pray for the safety of yourself, your passengers and innocents in your path. I pray when you hear yourself saying " My car is my office" or "I use a headset" or any of the things you continue to tell yourself to make this okay, that you stop for one moment and check in with your heart.
I just had this somewhat random thought. Picture teaching someone to drive. Would you say: buckle your seat belt, adjust your seat, check your mirrors and now make sure your cell phone is turned on and somewhere close in case you need to make or receive a call while driving?
Ahh... point made.
And now for the good news, Oprah has now posted the show from last week in it's entirety on her website. She was flooded with stories of people who's lives were affected by distracted drivers. They strongly requested she repeat the show. Well better than having to set your DVRs you can just go to Oprah.com and watch the whole show.
Now, I'm going to ask you to take this one step further. If someone, other than yourself, is going to be driving your children in their car please share this message with them and let them know it is not okay to drive and talk with your children in the car. If, like me, you need a little boost to your strength of heart make time to watch the show and I think you will get all the strength you need.
Here are 3 beautiful quotes on courage:

Mark Twain
It is curious—curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare.

Adam Michnik
Start doing the things you think should be done, and start being what you think society should become. Do you believe in free speech? Then speak freely. Do you love the truth? Then tell it. Do you believe in an open society? Then act in the open. Do you believe in a decent and humane society? Then behave decently and humanely.

La Rochefoucauld
Perfect courage means doing unwitnessed what we would be capable of with the world looking on.

EnJoy,
Grace

Be the Change...please

2010-01-19T12:46:00.000-08:00

Normally, I am very excited to sit down and write this blog. Today, I do so with a heavy heart. This is a serious topic and I pray everyone will click on each link, read every word and re-evaluate your choices.

I have and, even though the consequences of not changing my behavior holds the potential for the worst possible outcome, I still pray I will choose to be diligent to my commitment no matter what.

Hold your hats folks because those of you who know me personally are going to be shocked.

I believe the telephone is one of THE greatest inventions, ever, for lots of reasons.

We have all, more than likely, received the best and the worst of news via the phone. We have relationships from personal to business that we might not have otherwise because we can stay connected via the airwaves. Our lives are better, in so many ways, because we have a telephone.

For me, as a mother, I have been thrilled with the addition of cell phones. Being able to be in touch with my kids while away at school, out of the country or reached by them when they needed me for something has saved both of us many times. These examples could go on for pages but that's not today's point.

Yesterday, I watched a gut wrenching, very sobering and informative Oprah show titled End Distracted Driving - please stay with me - especially all of you who have your cell phones attached to your hands and most especially those of you who are reading this on your IPhone or Blackberry while driving.

Everyone I know, including myself, can relate to this. We have answered the phone, made calls, read something while at a red light, etc., while behind the wheel. I don't text because I literally can't see my keypad without my glasses and I don't wear my glasses to drive. Alarmingly, as it was painfully shown on the show yesterday, the younger generation not only texts and drives but they also consider it "normal." They are excellent at texting. Many are able to do it one handed without even looking. That's where the false security shows up. Remember when you were young and were certain you were invincible? Well, now that generation not only believes they are invincible and we are a pain in the ass but they are also texting and driving under that misconception.

One of the many heartbreaking stories told on the show involved a young man. He was just 19 when he texting while driving and took the lives of 2 fathers on their way to work. Now, 23, he travels to schools and shares his story. He was a very brave young man to sit on that stage under the scrutiny of the audience and viewers. He was terrified and he still did it. He innocently shared that no one in drivers education ever told them not to text and drive. "We all do it" he said. He accepted full responsibility for his actions but I could see in his eyes the cost of being the poster child for this behavior. It was a life altering lesson that affected many lives not the least, his own.

I actually can't bear to go through the stories one by one again for you here today. So, I'm asking you to please go to the Oprah link and read about each of the families affected by this dangerous behavior.

I saw myself the most in the Dad who was talking to his son while his son was driving home and his phone went dead. The Dad thought the battery was dead on his son's cell phone, when he fact, his son was. He had dropped his phone while he was talking to his father and, as he reached down to retrieve his phone, he ran into an oak tree. Twenty minutes later the police were at his home to tell his Dad what had happened.

It turns out our brain is literally incapable of doing both proficiently, driving and talking, even with a headset. There was a gentleman on the Oprah show that has conducted extensive studies and had quite impressive and sobering statistics to make this point unmistakably clear for us. Please watch this.

This morning I was having my coffee and cried at the thought of how many times I or someone I love could easily have been one of the guests on Oprah's show yesterday. I just wanted to check out for a while so I decided to turn on the TV. I never watch TV in the morning. And, lo and behold , when I looked up at the TV, one of the women from the Oprah show was on Good Morning America! She is one of the founding members of an organization, FocusDriven, based loosely on Mothers Against Drunk Driving. Once again, I heard the stories of tragedies stemming from our multi-tasking choices. Here's a recap of that show.

My intention today is to share the real life stories and scientific data that has been collected these past few years related to cellphones and driving habits.

I can feel the resistance in my own body. It reminds me of all the debate that once and, still at times, occurs related to seat belts or drinking and driving. The bottom line is our cars are not an office or our home and this is dangerous.

We seem to be people who think we are immune to such tragedies or our brains are different or better than the brains that all the research has been done on. Sometimes we have more excuses to use our cell phones while driving than we have minutes on our cell phone plans. But, in one of those minutes the life of another or even our own can be irreparably changed forever.

Is it really worth it? Is your son's or daughter's life worth it? "Everyone does it" and there seems to be no way to stop it. What value does your own life have?

I think the reason the Oprah show was so powerful was because everyone looked like such good, kind people who simply didn't stop for a moment to think about the consequences of their actions. Until yesterday, I was one of those people. I have had bits and pieces coming in to nudge me in this direction but always had some justification for making or taking one more call. I know many of you who read this blog and I know you to be one of those people too. I love you. I don't want either one of us to be a statistic.

My brother and my son died in a car accident. My brother was 22 and there was a horrible snowstorm and white out. He crossed the lane and hit another car head on. He died instantly. Knowing the cause of the accident gave us the tiniest bit of acceptance. My son was 16. After a long investigation, they never concluded what caused the accident. It was 1995. He didn't have a cell phone. There's no link to today's topic other than the unbelievable grief experienced when you hear this news. And yes, I heard it over the phone. It was on a pay phone in an airport. I remember how our world was shattered. The road to now has been long...very, very long. I thought of that yesterday as I watched the show. It can be argued that all those accidents were preventable. When I think of our loss and the impact it had on us and to add in "preventable" seems unbearable to me. People have often said to me, " I could never go on if something like that happened to me." I used to think the same thing but now I know, somehow, you do. But to be honest, I can't imagine going on with "preventable" in the mix, and yet those families have had to figure out how to do just that. My heart goes out to them, each side of the story, the victims and the drivers.

Haiti was a "natural disaster." I'm not fond of that term but it's the one we use. An earthquake is not "preventable." We are all affected by the devastation there on different levels. We see it all in one sweeping video, the massive horrible loss. We hear the cries of anguish and agony. We dig deep into our pockets and our hearts and do everything we can, and then some, to bring aid and assistance. People will die waiting, even with our good intentions. It is among the worst of tragedies. There's no way to prevent an earthquake.

I can't help but think what our reaction would be if all the families, all the footage of the accidents caused by driving distraction, the mangled bodies being removed from the wreckage, the cries of anguish when the police show up at the door, all of it, every single one included in the known statistics was shown to us over days of news coverage. What would that ignite in us? Would we care more? Would we believe the reports? Would we be willing to turn off the cellphone in the car? Would we have the courage to teach our teenagers and young adults a more responsible way of being by our example?
Unfortunately, we see random stories here and there and not the collective, so it's easy to think, "not me."
I actually thought I was somehow immune from another tragedy when my brother died. Like somehow, it wouldn't strike twice in the same family. But it did 13 years later.
We are all the same. We are all vulnerable in our humanity.
Some days, it all seems like a crap shoot.
But most days it's best to live a life that doesn't include: I wish I knew, I wish I could take that back, woulda, coulda, shoulda.
I'm asking you to be as brave as that 23 yr. old young man who sat on the stage and told the truth.
You are not the exception.
Your children and grandchildren are not immune.
Your best friend or your family, no one gets a special pass on this one and we are all responsible. We are responsible to share what we know. We are responsible to the innocent people in our path.
Invest in yourself and your loved ones. Click on each link and educate yourself. Then be really bold and share this with at least.....well.....everyone you know.
Remember cellphones are meant to enhance our lives not end them.

And one last thing before you turn on the engine and turn off your phone:

Text HAITI to 90999 to donate $10 to the American Red Cross
Text HAITI to 25383 to donate $5 to International Rescue Committee
Text HAITI to 45678 to donate $5 to the Salvation Army in Canada
Text YELE to 501501 to donation $5 to Yele
Text RELIEF to 30644 to get automatically connected to Catholic Relief Services and donate money with your credit card
Text HAITI to 864833 to donate $5 to The United Way
Text CERF to 90999 to donate $5 to The United Nations Foundation
Text DISASTER to 90999 to donate $10 to Compassion International

enJoy,
Grace
PS: Help me to be a good citizen too, please, don't call me from your cellphone while you're driving.

I love Mondays!

2010-01-11T20:06:00.000-08:00

I love Mondays!
I posted this on my Facebook Wall this morning and got quite a few responses rather quickly.
It's true, I really do love Mondays.
Mondays are full of hope, promise and all sorts of wonderful possibilities. Whether my calender is already filled with appointments, to-do lists or to-get-to lists doesn't really matter, unless I let it.
There is a wonderful quote from A Course in Miracles, " Nothing has meaning but the meaning you give to it." I apologize, if that is not the exact quote, although I'm pretty certain it's close enough. From the majority of responses I received on Facebook, it seems Monday has not been given such a stellar meaning for a few folks.
For me, no matter what, it's a clean slate.
"Teach me how" was my favorite response. See, right there, in those 3 words, my friend presented herself with a clean slate, Little House on the Prarie style. I love it. "Teach me" translates to me as, "I'm open."
I'm open, I'm available, I'm willing and most importantly, I'm present. Oooo, that gives me shivers.
It doesn't seem to be something that can be taught. As with most things, I think it's a choice we make along the way. Information and meanings are being thrown at us all the time. Whether it's from other people's opinions, the media, entertainment, how we invest our time or what we read, it's present. And, I think more times than we are aware, what we are feeling in the moment influences our conclusions about many of our beliefs and significantly influences our thinking.
Personally, I like to check in with myself every once in a while to see if what I'm spouting in the moment is really true for me.
Is this something I've thought for a long time?
Is this my own thought or one I picked up along the way?
Does this even matter?
Does this serve me?
Is it true, necessary and kind? (one of my favorites that applies to almost all situations in life)
How would my life be different if I dropped this thought? ( The Work by Byron Katie )
Does this bring me joy, energize me, inspire me?
Over 30 years ago, I read a book that I have long since forgotten the title. But what I do remember is that it was told through the eyes of a young woman. The piece that stuck out was something about a being coming here from another planet and this young woman was trying to explain the planet to the being. It was fascinating to read her attempts to explain things on Earth to a being that had no reference point. So many times, I've thought, " What the *#^: would this situation or conversation look like or sound like to someone from another planet?" And even better, could I even begin to explain this to a being from elsewhere. I know, I know not everyone believes in a somewhere else. That's not really the point.The point is how tightly some beliefs are held.
Even something as innocent and simple as my declaration about Mondays and the conversations I've had since posting that on Facebook.
People were adamant about Monday being less than stellar.
Really?
Is this something worth being right about?
After all, there are at least 52 of them a year.
Yep, I'm sticking with " I love Mondays!"
Well, time to go.
I only have 6 more days in the week to get every thing done.☺LOL!
EnJoy,
Grace
PS: Just for Grins and Giggles, an oldie but goody : Hey, I love you

Heart to Heart

2010-01-05T12:47:00.000-08:00

My dear friend and mentor, Wendy Down, sent out a post inviting the members of The Consciousness Playground to post a list of things they love about themselves. After reading her list and a few others, I noticed an excitement in myself that hadn't been there for a while. It was quite lovely and equally exhilarating. Wendy's a genius. She's thrilled to be a human being. She reminds me of my soul.

In my very early years, I too was excited about being here on this planet. Over the years that became tarnished. The ebbs and flows of happiness got deeper, wider and further apart at times. Admittedly, the happiness was more fulfilling and that also meant the heartache was deeper too. There are many noteworthy stories to illustrate that but that's not what this post is about.

Today, I am aware of the impact we have on one another. One simple post from a friend in Canada changed my day here in Boulder, Colorado. That's rocks! I have been carrying the baggage of others upsets, hurts and histories for months now. (okay, okay, some for years - but again, not what this post is about) My name is not on the baggage of others. Their name is on each and every bag. But, in my forgetting what I love about myself and my attempt to not rock the boat too much, I reached out and took the handle of their bag of historic upsets as if they belong to me. Here's something I love about me: I have realized I did not spend years in therapy and with good coaches to reduce the numbers of bags with my name on it, to free up a hand to pick up someone else's bag that they haven't attended to themselves. My goodness, just writing that eliminated another bag with my name on it.

MOMENT of awareness:

On the front page of my laptop is a picture of me surrounded by 5 amazing women celebrating the moment I turned 55 this past year. "Jazz Hands" is how my friend Susan Fox refers to 55. Two hands held high in the air = freedom. Another thing I love about me, realizing Jazz Hands have no room for baggage - HA! Love that! This just keeps getting better.

Okay, I'm jumping off the cliff here and going to be wild and crazy......

REAL TIME REAL LIFE INTERRUPTION:

stay with me it's good - stream of events

*I'm sitting here typing this blog

*house phone rings - caller id: Susan Fox - I don't pick up b/c she is my #1"you must write" friend & she would not want me to stop writing to chat

*cell phone rings right after house phone - Susan Fox -I don't answer- see above

*house phone rings- Susan Fox- now I'm a tad concerned, lots going on in her world to be concerned about and if you call me 3 consectutive times I think it's REALLY important

*I pick up

*Susan, "Did I just call you 3 times?" !!!

*me: yes

*Susan: huh,wonder why I did that- anyhow, didn't want to be with my own thoughts so what are you doing?

*me: blogging

*Susan: Oh good, good, I love when you blog

*me: want to hear what I have so far?

*Susan: yes!

*me: remember Wendy Down, who I love and adore... this is what happened this morning (see beginning of this post)

*me: let me read Wendy's list of "What I love and appreciate about myself" first then I'll read what I have.

*Susan: cool

* I start to read Wendy's list, get half way through and the call waiting beeps. I check it b/c you just never know and I have one daughter in South America and another visiting back east and a husband and, and, and I'm a checker

* caller Id: Wendy Down

*me: happy scream, if you know me personally, you know what that sounds like, most people like it

*me:OMG, It's Wendy Down, what are the odds? (whenever I say that to my husband he replies,"in your world, pretty good")

*Susan: go talk to Wendy and tell her I love her b/c I love anyone who inspires you to write

*I click over to Wendy's call and laugh and cry and scream and tell her all the many ways my life is better, richer deeper, fuller , more my life b/c she is in it AND am, yet again, BLOWN AWAY by the magnificence of the universe and the power of LOVE and that is what I love the most about being me.

enJoy,

Grace

PS: Wendy "why aren't you writing all the time?"

Me, "Sentence structure, I suck at it."

Wendy,"that's just silly, people read what you write b/c it's your words not b/c of your sentence structure"

So, as my Thank You to the amazing Wendy Down, I am not going to proof read this and pretend anymore THE END

Monday, Monday 12/14 Unplug and tune in

2009-12-14T21:20:00.000-08:00

Last week, I was once again sitting in the hospital with my friend.
I'm here today, to tell you, you can't write a blog while your friend is in a hospital bed.
Well, I couldn't, maybe you can. Something just didn't flow. Not that I didn't make numerous attempts. Every time she would seem to dose, I would flip open my laptop and think, okay, here we go, it's Monday - gotta blog, must blog, hurry, get a line in.
But, that didn't happen. It was a restless and painful day for her and that's why I was there. It took me a few unsuccessfully tries to focus on the blog before I realized what my priorities were. Blogging slipped right off the list. I had so much crazy ass chatter going on in my head. "You made a commitment to yourself", "Natalie Goldberg's mom ( I think) wrote a book standing at the kitchen counter in between making dinner and taking care of her children" "You can do it, just focus" on and on it went. arghhh
Finally,in one quiet moment, I looked into my friend's face as she was miraculously having 5 minutes of rest and I saw her innocence. Her sweet childlike face relaxed from the pain for just an instant, reminded me what was truly important. For me, in that moment, it was to be fully present in the moment. Not just there for the times she awakened and was frightened or needed help but even in the moments while she slept.
Personally, I'm thrilled with today's technology.
X-rays diagnosed her, surgery saved her and help was just a call button away. But, was it really necessary for me to fill the quiet times tapping on my keyboard? Sheez!
We are coming into a time when most of us are multi-tasking like it's an olympic sport. At what cost, though, I was wondering when I finally closed my computer.
On Thanksgiving day, my daughter in Chile and my nephew in Spain were able to join us at the dining room table at my mom's house in Pennsylvania via Skype. My brother and his family skyped in later in the day from Texas. "It's a wonderful thang" he said in his acquired southern drawl, "to be with y'all today." In that instance it was a wonderful thing.
Friday, our Boulder family went out for lunch for a special gathering. Again, the daughter in Chile was able to join us via cell phone for a toast to her brother. My husband scanned the card he gave to me and my other daughter and emailed it to Chile so she would have it on the same day we did.
Technology is great when it is appropriately utilized.
I'm still learning what that means for me.
No doubt, my life is richer in countless ways due to technology, especially the internet.
Information is a goggle click away.
Facebook allows me to participate with family and friends who are states and countries away. Babies being born, weddings happening, requests for prayers, fun being had and life being shared that I otherwise wouldn't get to "see."
However,it certainly will never be a substitute for being able to soothe a friend's discomfort with the touch of the hand or the stroking of her hair or even a "It's okay, I'm right here."
Last Monday, when I finally woke up to what really matters I cried. Nothing was wrong. Nothing happened. It was just quiet and in that quiet I was able to feel so much. Actually I was flooded with feelings. I remembered briefly seeing an email informing me that a classmate from high school had passed away in her sleep with her family by her side early that morning. My heart ached for them. I felt our fragility as humans. Those of us on Facebook had rallied and were praying for her and sending love and fond remembrances to her and her husband on her Care Page.
We have all heard, "It takes a village" and I always thought of it in reference to children. Not any more. I think it takes a village to be. To lighten the load and brighten the journey for one another. When something wonderful or something tragic happens we can share it in a matter of minutes and be supported in our sorrow and celebrated in our victories. If we want the lyrics to a song or to link our favorite 'anything' we can highlight, click and share. It's a wonderful thing.
And, when we are in the presence of our loved ones, it is important to turn off the technology and tune into our hearts. Be still. Be quiet and see what's there. Look into the eyes of the one you are with and be.
enJoy,
Grace
P.S. I had picked a number of favorite Christmas songs and clips to share with you but this wanted to come out instead. Maybe next week ♡

Monday, Monday 11/30 Breathing..

2009-11-30T14:49:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting in the hospital with my dear friend as we await her 2nd surgery. 11 days ago she had the first that was meant to fix everything. She has hit one bump after another since then. Finally, today, she will get some answers and relief. She has her laptop on her belly and is listening to a beautiful CD that another member of our tribe made for her. It's lovely and made her cry soft, sweet tears before it soothed her into a much needed nap.
It really does take a tribe. We are each woven together bringing so many different gifts to the table. We are all necessary, loved and appreciated. This particular tribe is a bit nutty and we delight in that. We amuse the daylights out of each other. All over 50, varying degrees of menopause affecting our memories and a healthy dose of A.D.D. makes our lives endlessly entertaining and sometimes annoying. But, it doesn't matter because when one of us is in need we rally. All the idiosyncrasies fall by the wayside and our love and devotion bubble to the top. The delicious cream rises and we are all nourished. I love that about girlfriends. So folks, no list today. Just a request for healing prayers for one of my fellow tribe members.
enJoy,
Grace

Monday, Monday 11/23 Thanksgiving Awakenings

2009-11-23T07:20:00.000-08:00

Here in the States, many of us are preparing to celebrate Thanksgiving with our families and friends. I tend to not give too much attention to origin of this holiday, as it can be a bit "unsettling." It is more satisfying to dust off my lens of perception and see all the opportunities in my life to give thanks daily. I invite you to do the same with this week's list of prompts and as always I love to hear about your experiences.

1.GRATITUDE |ˈgratəˌt(y)oōd| noun
the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness
ORIGIN late Middle English: from Old French, or from medieval Latin gratitudo, from Latin gratus ‘pleasing, thankful.’
Oh, the gratitude I have for Mr. Webster. Words delight and fascinate me. The root of a word, the use of a word, everything about the energy of language amazes me. It can be used to build up or tear down people everyday. Each encounter we have with one another is a golden opportunity to share the true wealth we have within us. This week, begin to be mindful of the words you choose. Did you pass your words through the 3 gates : True, Necessary and Kind ? Look into the eyes of the person you are speaking to and notice what happens when you speak. You will see your true wealth in their reflection. Be a blessing with your words.

2.GENEROUS |ˈjenərəs| adjective (of a person) showing a readiness to give more of something, as money or time, than is strictly necessary or expected : she was generous with her money.
• showing kindness toward others : it was generous of them to ask her along.
• (of a thing) larger or more plentiful than is usual or necessary
ORIGIN late 16th cent.: via Old French from Latin generosus ‘noble, magnanimous,’ from genus, gener- ‘stock, race.’ The original sense was [of noble birth,] hence [characteristic of noble birth, courageous, magnanimous, not mean] (a sense already present in Latin).
This year several unexpected but quite welcome generous souls showed up to bless and enrich my life. Darel Hamilton took me under his wing and decided he would be very generous with his knowledge of art. He took it upon himself to coax my inner artist out to play. Now, I see color and opportunities everywhere. Thank you, Darel.
Melissa Piccola knocked my socks off when she gifted me with a beautiful butterfly box. It was the first time in my life I understood how to be generous, unconditionally. Melissa and I had only met days before she handed me her precious handcrafted box and prompted me to open my heart and receive. Thank you, Melissa.
We all have the ability to be generous. Each day this week, share yourself in a way that only you can. The rewards are boundless.

3.Give Thanks thank |θa ng k| verb [ trans. ]
express gratitude to (someone), esp. by saying “Thank you” : Mac thanked her for the meal and left.
ORIGIN Old English thancian, of Germanic origin; related to Dutch and German danken; compare with thanks .
Christine Mason Miller, by her example, has reminded me how lovely it is to receive a handwritten thank you note. I, personally, am thrilled with technology and all the benefits it provides; emails, skype , cell phones etc. However, there is still nothing like opening your mailbox and seeing a familiar handwriting. It connects me to a place that is pleasantly nostalgic. Be generous with your thanks this week. Make a point to acknowledge daily the many ways people are kind to you. Look for it on purpose and then say, "Thank you." And if you want to get wild and crazy you can elaborate by telling them the difference their actions make in your life. Look out - intimacy !

4. NURTURE nurture |ˈnər ch ər| verb [ trans. ]
care for and encourage the growth or development of : figurative my father nurtured my love of art.
• cherish (a hope, belief, or ambition) : for a long time she had nurtured the dream of buying a shop. noun the process of caring for and encouraging the growth or development of someone or something : the nurture of ethics and integrity.
• upbringing, education, and environment, contrasted with inborn characteristics as an influence on or determinant of personality. Often contrasted with nature .
ORIGIN Middle English : from Old French noureture ‘nourishment,’ based on Latin nutrire ‘feed, cherish.’
Our bodies, hopefully, will be nourished by the meal we will share on Thanksgiving Day. What can you do this week to nurture your heart and soul ? In the hustle and bustle of all the preparation and activities, what will you do to be peaceful, loving and receptive? What can you do to enjoy the spirit of giving and receiving? What allows you to focus on what really matters? It only takes a moment to ask, what is my intention here, right now? Slow down, take a breathe and embrace all the opportunities you have to share with your fellow humans along the way.

5.ACCEPT |akˈsept| verb [ trans. ]
1. consent to receive (a thing offered) : he accepted a pen as a present. • agree to undertake (an offered position or responsibility).
• give an affirmative answer to (an offer or proposal); say yes to : he would accept their offer and see what happened | [ intrans. ] Tim offered Brian a lift home and he accepted.
• receive as adequate, valid, or suitable : the college accepted her as a student
• regard favorably or with approval; welcome
2 believe or come to recognize (an opinion, explanation, etc.) as valid or correct : this tentative explanation came to be accepted by the group | [with clause ] it is accepted that aging is a continuous process
ORIGIN late Middle English : from Latin acceptare, frequentative of accipere ‘take something to oneself,’ from ad- ‘to’ + capere ‘take.’ All of the above is greatly enhanced when there is a willingness to accept.
I've noticed for myself and others that we can be generous in our giving but sometimes hesitate to receive. Let's all make a pact to be more accepting this week. More accepting of someone's quirkiness, generous gestures, offers for help, compliments, love and, most importantly - ourselves.

Appreciate the awakenings of Thanksgiving.

enJoy,
Grace

Monda, Monday 11/16 Wisdom, Angels and Music

2009-11-16T09:09:00.000-08:00

This past week, I have had some interesting conversations that caused me to wonder about wisdom.
What the heck is it really?
I'll check the dictionary:
wisdom |ˈwizdəm| noun the quality of having experience, knowledge, and good judgment; the quality of being wise. • the soundness of an action or decision with regard to the application of such experience, knowledge, and good judgment : some questioned the wisdom of building the dam so close to an active volcano. • the body of knowledge and principles that develops within a specified society or period : oriental wisdom. See note at knowledge . PHRASES in someone's wisdom used ironically to suggest that an action is not well judged : in their wisdom they decided to dispense with him. ORIGIN Old English wīsdōm (see wise 1 , -dom ).
Well, this brought me back to Inspiration& the internet and that led to lots of wonderful new sites and discoveries.
One of my favorite experiences often happens when I am cruising the internet and I visit a new site & I see someone I know. Must be that whole 6 degrees of separation thing.
Ryan Van Duzer's site was one of those moments. Ryan went to school here in Boulder with our kids and now is inspiring communities with his own personal commitment and challenge to all of us. Check him out in all his glory: Across America. His journey didn't end with the bike tour. He recently had a party and all the guests had to arrive by means of alternative transportation and/or carpooling. Cool guy. Living it not just talking it. If you recall a few weeks ago I was pretty amped up about the "No Impact Week." It had a deep and lasting impact on me. So, when I see people like Ryan taking on such a challenge, I am inspired and for me that is one of the most delightful roads to wisdom. I think, with all my heart (figuratively and literally) that wisdom that transforms comes from experience. To see a young man gaining such wisdom through play, passion and physical commitment is invigorating.

Here are some wise older souls sharing their thoughts on Wisdom. In this clip Chuck Close has this to say about inspiration, "Inspiration is for amateurs - the rest of us just show up & get to work." HA! Good one.

Transition Network is a worldwide group who have actually shown up and are doing the work and spreading the word. I wouldn't do it justice on a quick blog post, so grab a beverage and have a look around. They are quite innovative and did I mention global ? That rocks.

Sometimes the showing up and doing the work is being the truth you know yourself to be. The exquisite Jen Gray shares with great tenderness how that can be for some of us. Thank you, Jen, for sharing your wisdom.

Yesterday, while making dinner, I was having a moment of missing my daughter who is traveling in South America. Catherine loved to listen to Pandora on her computer whenever she was putzing around. Seemed like a good way to connect with her and have some of her energy with me in the kitchen. Pandora is great because you can enter the genre you like and it takes it from there. Andre Boccelli, Michael Bulbe', Enya, & Josh Groban were taking turms serenading me when all of a sudden I heard the softest voice singing Somewhere Over The Rainbow. It was Israel Kamakawiwo'Ole'IZ and he melted my heart. Delightful surprises from unknown angels are always welcome.

When I was young I thought older people were wise because they knew so much. Now, I'm older. Wisdom doesn't seem to have anything to do with what I know. I know a lot and a lot of what I know doesn't make me wise. I feel wise when I allow what I know to change what I think.
What I think about how things are suppose to be, what I think about how people are suppose to behave, all those things that form my opinions. Opinions don't make me wise, they make me opinionated ! There is no "suppose to be." It's all made up. When I know that and experience that, then I can think with my heart and feel with my head and then, I am wiser....for the moment.

enJoy,
Grace

Monday, Monday 11/09 Inspired or Intimidated

2009-11-09T10:55:00.000-08:00

inspire |inˈspīr| verb [ trans. ] 1 fill (someone) with the urge or ability to do or feel something, esp. to do something creative : [ trans. ] his passion for romantic literature inspired him to begin writing | [as adj. ] ( inspiring) so far, the scenery is not very inspiring. See note at encourage . • create (a feeling, esp. a positive one) in a person : their past record does not inspire confidence. • ( inspire someone with) animate someone with (such a feeling) : he inspired his students with a vision of freedom. • give rise to : the movie was successful enough to inspire a sequel.
ORIGIN Middle English enspire, from Old French inspirer, from Latin inspirare ‘breathe or blow into,’ from in- ‘into’ + spirare ‘breathe.’ The word was originally used of a divine or supernatural being, in the sense [impart a truth or idea to someone.]

intimidate |inˈtimiˌdāt|
verb
frighten or overawe (someone), esp. in order to make them do what one wants : he tries to intimidate his rivals [as adj. ] ( intimidating): the intimidating defense lawyer.
ORIGIN mid 17th cent.: from medieval Latin intimidat- ‘made timid,’ from the verb intimidare (based on timidus ‘timid’ ).

Yesterday afternoon I was inspired. As I sat and soaked in every exquisite moment of a performance by 40 Women Over 40, I began to wonder how is it that certain people, experiences or circumstances either inspire or intimidate me. In a matter of minutes the answer appeared. I decide. It's that simple. Either I choose to be inspired, as I was watching Feels Like Falling or I compare, become envious and feel like crap.
Indie Arie offers a good remedy for this with her beautiful song: Indie Arie . Note the great lyrics.
During intermission I headed to the ladies room along with at least 50 other women. Standing in line, listening to the various conversations buzzing around me and watching the stream of women coming and going brought me to one of my favorite sayings, "Humans; they fascinate me !" When I shared that with the woman standing behind me we both burst into laughter. "And, of course, we are one of them!" I said to her which made us laugh even more.
So what's up with that? Why do we follow those crumbs along the path that make us feel so badly?
I think Alain de Bottom is onto something in his Ted.com 18 minute presentation: A Kinder, Gentler Philosophy of Success. I so appreciate brilliance mixed with humor.

After watching him I remembered seeing this woman . If I make it to 87 and I am able to do that AND I have lived life guided by joy, love and laughter, I will definitely have been a successful human being.

Okay, and now a commercial for the environment♡. Sporks - get one today, you'll be glad you did.
I look forward to reading about what/whom inspires you.
enJoy,
Grace
P.S. Support the Arts - Attend a Live Performance soon !

Monday, Monday 11/2 Happiness

2009-11-02T14:03:00.000-08:00

This morning, before I got up, I decided that my intention for the day would be Happiness.
I hope these links bring to you as much happiness as they did to me.
1. Big wisdom and a giving heart from a little soul. Notes left Behind by Elena Desserich
2. This would have been SO much fun to do! I Got A Feelin' Thank you for reminding me about this Margie xO
3. A special gift from the blog world via the comment section on my blog. I love when things like this happen, Creating wings by Megg. Thank you, Megg!
4. This gentlemen exemplifies "Be the Change." Mark Boyle's : Living without cash for a year.
5. And last but certainly not least my daughter, Catherine and her travel buddy/kindred spirit Amenee's blogs sharing their adventures through South America as WWOOF 'ers. Everytime I talk to Catherine and hear the pure happiness in her voice I am inspired to find and follow my own. It took a lot of courage for both of them to leave the mainstream life and follow their hearts and that was their road to self discovery and Happiness.

And now, with a heart full of happiness, I ask each of you in your own way to say healing prayers for Suzanne Fischer,my dearest friend's niece, who is the mother of 2 beautiful little girls as she finds her way to wellness through her diagnosis of CLL.

I would love to hear what makes your heart happy....
enJoy,
Grace

Monday, Monday 10/26 Heart and Soul

2009-10-26T08:57:00.000-07:00

1. I love to talk with people and my heart is so expanded when I sense a true connection. Susan Parker mentioned Martin Buber to me today and through a little internet search I came across this paper: Martin Buber - Dialogue by Erin Scholz. I found it to be very informative and quite encouraging. It gave me a much better understanding of the origin of "beating my head against a brick wall." Please feel free to share your thoughts with me afterwards.
2.Shameless plug for Chandler Holt (daughter Kyra's boyfriend) and the Jackets playing @ the Station in Carborro, NC. Crazy
3.Beautiful and creative photos along with great info @ 350.org
4.Every single time I wear my gorgeous butterfly necklace made by Georgia Cranston, I am instantly happy.
5.Many times since my 50th birthday when I changed my name to "Grace" people have asked -why.
On their new CD, BeBe and CeCe Winans captured the essence of what was in my heart when I made that decision. I dedicate this to my husband, Jerry aka Mr. Moore.

Monday, Monday 10/19

2009-10-19T10:12:00.000-07:00

I'm on my soapbox this week.
So just two things rather than 5.
1) I'm not quite sure why this has had such a deep affect on me but it has. Please join in today or at any point during the week for No Impact Week. I would love to hear your comments about this if you do it or not. Thanks.
2) My friend, Haley, started sending these to me and then after that I noticed them on several peoples Facebook page. I appreciate the brilliant simplicity of Story People. You can have them arrive daily and enjoy the story of the day with your cup of morning .........
enJoy
Grace

Monday's list on Tuesday

2009-10-13T17:33:00.000-07:00

Hello All,
I was in Houston with my dear friend, Susan Parker, for her book launch and soaked up my last day with her rather than write my list. It was loads of FUN.
With no further ado...
1) For all the writer's yet unfulfilled: Wild Mind, by Natalie Goldberg. Oldie but goodie.
2)This is one of the things Susan and I were laughing our heads off about yesterday, hence no list:
The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quoatation Marks
3)I met this amazing artist @ Susan's Book Launch: Nicola Parente
4)What a Wonderful World ......still makes me happy.
5)Have you done it yet???? Check it out here
enJoy,
Grace

The Serious and the Silly on this Monday, Monday

2009-10-05T12:17:00.000-07:00

My eyes were opened many times last week.
1) Tereai Trent's life story brought me to my knees and tears. The power of a young girl's dream fueled by her mother's faith comes to fruition against unimaginable odds.
2)If you are moved as I was moved and want to take action: For All Women Registry
3) I found many beautiful versions of this Our Deepest Fear but there was something so tender about this one. Let me know if you have one you like.
4) Now this is radical, No Impact Week, could you do it?
5) And last but certainly not least by anyone's standards (at least no one I would want to know) , one of my new favorite joy inducing humans, Jen Gray Blackburn , and again here,
and doing Wonder Woman to let us know there is a place for each of us!

Be kind, be active, be still and be silly.
enJoy,
Grace

Second Star to the Right and Mr. Moore on this Monday, Monday

2009-09-28T11:00:00.000-07:00

I'm still floating between being Squamed and being home and I love it.
Here's a few things I've found of interest:
1. I attended a workshop with Byron Katie a few years ago and it was one of the best times I ever had. Whenever I want to get some clarity I visit her videos. Here's one I came across after a dear friend called about relationship issues. If you have never, ever, ever had a relationship issue you can just skip it :) Empathy
2. Here's a heart melter for sure: Best Friends
3. I promise this is the last one : Dancing Baby this little one has a great attention span!
4. Haven't read this yet but can already tell I will love it. Improv Wisdom
5. So loving Jonatha Brooks singing Second Star to the Right

And a very special Thank You to my beautiful husband who left a comment for me on last week's post as "Artful Grace." The sketch of me is his amazing artwork done from a photo taken years ago of me backstage @ Telluride. I love you, Mr. Moore

enJoy,
Grace

Post Squam Monday, Monday

2009-09-21T14:02:00.000-07:00

I am overjoyed by my experience this past weekend at the Squam Art Workshop.
Today I will share 5 of the countless amazing artistic women who birthed me into my 55th year of life. Over the next few weeks you will hear about many more.
In no particular order:
1. My first class was with the delightful, encouraging Mary Beth Shaw. She introduced me to "Geometric Abstractions" and "just try it and see if you don't like it wipe it off, paint over it or whatever it takes to have FUN.
2. Second day with the dearest most delightful powerhouse of a woman Marisa Haedike.
Marisa did the impossible, she got me to "Create a Painting in a Day." She was gentle and kind and taught me to "feel" what my painting would like.
3. Saturday was my birthday and I was blessed to celebrate it in Christine Mason Miller and Marisa Haedike"s class Book in a Day and I DID IT !!! There, I learned "make mistakes - it's fun- they turn into great possibilities."
4. Liz Kalloch is a classy, down to earth , luscious woman who taught me the value of being gracious. I was happy to buy lots of her goods at vendor night.
5. Jonatha Brooks set the stage for a fantastic weekend by mesmerizing all of us with her beautiful voice under the stars by the bonfire - I thnk we may have been in heaven. Make sure to click on her link from her newest CD to hear her duet with Keb Mo, "All You Gotta Do Is Touch Me."
Much more to share when I come back to planet earth.
Thank you Eli

Monday, Monday

2009-09-14T08:44:00.000-07:00

It's an exciting Monday! I'm packing my bag and heading off to New Hampshire for Squam Art Workshop - woohoo!
A fine place to celebrate my 55th birthday on Saturday. Thank you, Mr. Moore.

Here are a few things I came across this week:

1. Inspired eco-friendly clothing that is ohh... so soft : Within
2. My alter ego and sheer perfection : Beyonce' @ the VMA Awards
3. I have a fond appreciation for a good motivator who can make me laugh:
Rory Vaden and his, Take the Stairs Tour.
4. Imagine my delight when I got this link sent to me as a comment:
author of War of Art, Steven Pressfield's blog!
5. Creativity in 2 different venues: Angela Pomone's Spinach Tiger AND as if she isn't busy enough, Pomone Studios

enJoy,
Grace

Monday, Monday

2009-09-07T15:41:00.000-07:00

No theme to today's recommendation, just what's floatin' my boat right now:

1. I had the great pleasure to spend some time with Christine Mason Miller recently. She is the real deal! Check out her book Ordinary Sparkling Moments:Reflections on Success and Contentment. It rocked my soul and got me going in the right direction - straight to my heart.
2. Fifteen years ago I was introduced to Gangaji by what seemed, at the time, to be totally random. Today, I know better. What Do You Want Most , a mere 7 minutes.
3. Friday we saw live and in person Gus Harper at Artwork Network in Denver. If you aren't near one of his current showings be sure to click on Videos to see him in action on his website.
4. Risking the controversy and willing to share the information : Why Current Thinking on Autism is Wrong by Dr. Mark Hyman
5. A Tribute to Those Who Exist for Love , beautifully sung by Robert Bradley.

enJoy,
Grace

Monday, Monday

2009-08-31T09:11:00.000-07:00

After reading the "War of Art", I see a whole new world but along the way some amazing people have greatly influenced my life and today I want to honor them (in no particular order).

1.From one of my creative mentors, Bonnie Stillwell , a brilliant design to make life easier - Baggitz - you'll wonder what you did before you had one.
2.There are no words to describe Wendy Down, she is only to be experienced. I recommend you do just that.
3.My husband, Jerry Moore, who lights up the world for fun & safety because he can !
4.Susan Parker , first time, soon to be published, memoir producing friend, who loves with sheer abandon even after "Walking in the Deep End."
5.This woman walks in the room and is art, Janine Thormann, who loved me back to life, one phone call at a time. Visit her online or any time she is in your neck of the woods.

enJoy,
Grace

2009-08-16T20:36:00.001-07:00

Hello Folks,
I'm in New York with the infamous Susan Fox and my daughter, Catherine.
The Monday list will resume 8/31 after my return to Boulder. In the meantime, I am collecting lots of fun links and I think I actually figure out how to do "live links" - look out!
enJoy,
Grace

Monday, Monday doodoo...

2009-08-10T12:50:00.000-07:00

For well over a year now, I have been nourished by some wonderfully creative people, their blogs and their list of "favorites" which have inspired me so much I thought I would start one too. No need to reinvent the wheel here folks.
This morning my niece, Breezanne, shared that she was having a case of the "Mondays." It didn't sound good. As you know, I'm a bit of a freak and I happen to love Mondays. So I decided Mondays will be my day to share some of my favorite things that peaked my interest. I haven't come up with a cool name yet but I'm sure something will pop in soon.

1. If I had a million dollars (feel free to sing that tune if you know it) I would buy a copy of this book for everyone I know and everyone I meet and give it to them with a hug and a smile :
the War of Art by Steven Pressfield also known for writing The Legend of Bagger Vance. No matter what your profession or artistist endeavour this book is for you. Thank you Justin Davanzo.

2.nice segue, why thank you I thought so myself.
Justin Davanzo's website and blog:
http://escapefromlosangeles.blogspot.com/
Justin is .....long pause....can't think of just one word.......only to be experienced......amazing....honest....raw and real and a beautiful soul. Read his blog, buy his photography and wish him well - he's a newlywed - Congratulations.

3.this is a true gem: Susannah Conway's http://www.susannahconway.com/unravelling
I've taken this e-course twice, in a row , it's that good. And in the fall I will be taking the next in her series http://www.susannahconway.com/unravelling-further. Do all things Susannah, she's divine.

4.and just in case you aren't one of the 18 million viewers - this is hilarious:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-94JhLEiN0&feature=player_embedded

5. my dear friend and life coach extraordinaire Rosie Laughlin is launching a brand new rockin' great FUN, FIT & FREE program. Rosie's not much of a techie so she doesn't have a "link." Here's the email she sent sans the PDF files because I didn't know how to include those(also not much of a techie). If this is tickles your interest email Rosie at roselaugh@mchsi.com or call 417-353-1364. You can participate from anywhere in the world - how cool is that?!
I’m Rosie and if you don’t know me – I'm a Certified Fearless Living Life Coach who has a passion for health and wellness. I have faced the challenges of an eating disorder and clearly remember buying ‘pretty plus’ or ‘husky’ cloths as a little girl. I know how tormenting making healthy choices can be. Today, I am also an athlete who runs, bikes, swims – you name it. So, I also know how to engage the action to overcome the obstacles and tap into our ability to make the choices that allow us to live health, happy, and abundant lives. Do you want to feel good? Do you know what it feels like to have energy and a spring in your step? Do you wake up excited about the day? Do you end your day with a smile on your face? ----- Keep reading ------

I get frustrated by how expensive it can be to be HEALTHY! It’s cheaper to order a greasy cheese burger with fries than to order a salad with chicken at most restaurants. Fitness trainers – health club memberships – IT ALL COSTS $$$$

Not today! In the past I was certified fitness trainer – I am NOT a certified trainer or nutritionist today! So, I am not going to be in the gym with you or counting your calories. I am an experienced Life Coach that is excited about supporting people in living their lives to the fullest. So, I will be motivating, encouraging, and supporting YOU to make the changes YOU want to make.

If any of this sparks your curiosity – open the attachments and check it out! Please feel free to forward this to any one you know. All you need to be a part is a phone and email and YOU!

Fit & Fun & Free Director and Coordinator,
Rosie Laughlin, MS, CFLC IV

P.S. Program limited to 50

Okay folks, I have lots more, so stay tuned...
enJoy
Grace

Hallelujah

2009-06-25T11:10:00.000-07:00

exquisite....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_NpxTWbovE
enJoy,
grace

I agree, do you?

2009-06-20T10:09:00.000-07:00

http://ordinarycourage.squarespace.com/my-blog/2009/6/16/this-i-believe-about-basic-dignity.html
enJoy,
Grace

Boundaries, Deer and the High Dive

2009-05-03T18:28:00.000-07:00

Recently, I became acutely aware that I don't know a boundary from a fence post. Naturally in the yard I do, just not in my personal life. Many things have happened over the last few months bringing me to my knees because I haven't master this area of my life. As a life coach, I was very adept at assisting my clients in discovering their personal boundaries and offering wonderful support in the "how to lovingly apply" category for them.
Even as I type, my lack of what the heck a boundary is stymies me.
How do I share this journey and protect the innocent and maintain anonymity of the offenders. Hmm, offenders seems harsh. What do you call the ones who walk right into your yard and all over your heart because you were naive? For the sake of pretending for a moment that I am a humble student of the universe , I'll refer to them, for a bit, as my "teachers." That made me gag a little but I have a feeling that maybe exactly right.
I am a firm believer in "it takes a village" to have a great life. I am blessed to have an amazing village to support me in the daily adventures and foibles of my life. I trust them and I count on them for wise counsel.
After a number of times of hanging up the phone and walking away from yet another encounter where this person who lives inside of me, who is way too nice for her on good, had handled the situation , I called a dear friend , who also happens to be a great therapist,( always good to have a few of those in your village) and she gave me a precious tip.
"Grace, we don't know we need a boundary until we have been hurt or injured."
Long pause to sink in....................
It was balm to my weary soul. Yes, that makes so much sense. I was beating myself up for not being better at this yet and how could I be? I didn't even know there was something missing until I had been hit with a triple header.
Take the fence in our front yard for instance. The deer had realized they could jump it and were feasting on all our beautiful flowers. So we made the fence higher. We didn't know we needed it to be higher until I saw where and how they were getting into the yard.
In the physical world boundaries can be obvious and simple.
It's the matters of the heart that have recently gotten my attention, especially when others are wounded, injured or lacking in their own boundaries. The odd thing is when I see someone else lovingly state their own position and boundary, I admire them. I am inspired by them. That doesn't even take a long pause. That happens instantly. These are trustworthy people. In certain areas I find comfort in knowing where the lines are drawn.
Just like when we were kids and played Hide and Seek, the boundaries were always called at the beginning of the game. When the boundaries were honored it was a good fair game and all could participate at their own level and willingness. It was clear. If you agreed , you got to play and if you didn't, you were free to disagree and go find something else to do. Of course, every once in awhile someone would come along and not respect the rules (boundaries). Inevitable, the game was not fun but that person usually got another chance. If broken the second time, they were out and as kids we didn't seem to have much problem holding them to it.
What happened to that for me ?
It's my love lines that seem to cause me the most angst. What is it to love myself and others unconditionally? Is that even possible? Is it human? I can hear all my spiritual friends and their quotes about unconditional love in my head ( so you don't have to email me) but in the day to dayness of every day life is it even possible? And if so, how does it look ( feel free to email me about that)? I think at 54 years old I "should" (arfff) know this but you know what - at 54 I am just beginning to really look at what the heck it even means to love unconditionally and what makes it good thing ? I love a LOT of people and am very fortunate to be loved in return. AND everyone has such a different idea of what that means. That's where I think the trouble happens. That's where the deer jump over the fence and do what deers do which is eat all your flower heads. Am I a person who cares about the flower heads ? Yes ! I like them. They bring me joy. I planted them, watered , weeded and nurtured them for my benefit not to feed the freakin' deer population in the city of Boulder.
When I hear someone say, " Well... the deer have to eat to and you know about the eco-system....."
Yes I know about the eco-system - I live in Boulder , Colorado - you're not allowed to NOT know about the eco-system here. But doesn't everything have it's place? There are yards in Boulder where the owners are different and don't mind losing all their flower heads. Let the deer go there.
I'm not one of them. And I'm learning that being nice doesn't mean not having a fence metaphorically and literally.
Ah , but what to do about the little guilt that pops up even as I write what is true for me?
"If you were truly , genuinely, authentically nice , you wouldn't mind the deer eating your flowers or the people walking all over your heart and/or you wouldn't mind hugging every person having a hard time just because they were standing right in front of you especially when that person is not someone you care for (yea, don't think I'll ever be able to do that but it could happen- no probably not that one) but you get my point."
The bottom line is, when I don't place and respect my own boundaries I don't respect myself and that's the injury and hurt. When my behaviours and choices don't align with love and respect, I feel hurt. When I don't speak up and tell the truth, I am being dishonest, not loving and I feel like crap.
I remember when I was about 11 or 12 and we joined the local public pool. I was in heaven! The pool had a diving area with the low dive and the high dive. I jumped off that low dive for weeks as many times as the line and time allowed. Each time, I would look longingly at the high dive, that's where I really wanted to be . A few times I even climbed the stairs , walked to the end of the board and with a great deal of shame had to climb back down the stairs because I was too afraid. The shame came from not telling the truth - I really wanted to be the person who jumped. I really wanted to know that experience. that was my truth. Finally, I was able to break through the fear and jump. It was the best !!! It was the truth. I felt great being me that day because I told the truth. A couple of weeks went by and now I wanted to be a person who dove from the high dive.
Good lord , how was I going to do that? Same as I did hundreds of time from the low dive, that's how. Up I go, my heart pounding, all 80 lbs of me. I do a spring dive just like I did every day from the low dive. OOOOOOOoooo bad idea - no knowledge of physics - bad outcome. My skinny little body entered the water and the lower half of my body flipped too far forward and I was certain I had broken my back. It hurt like crazy. It knocked the wind right out of me. I took a little too long to surface and the lifeguard was standing at her chair ready to come in after me. I slowly made it up , took a deep breath and with the worst back pain I had ever experienced in my young life - I FELT GREAT !!!! I was a person who dove from the high dive - woohoo. I did it. I loved being me, pain and all. I told the truth.
So that's what I need to remember. Telling the truth may not always go so great the first couple of times I put the boundaries into place but that isn't the point. The point is telling the truth.
The point is being the person I can rely on and know to be trustworthy, My "yes" is an honest "yes" and my "no" is an honest "no."
I understand the origin of the hurt now. It happens when I don't tell the truth.
I choose (that's for you Patrick) to be a person that offers the same opportunity that others gave to me when they lovingly clearly and succinctly spoke their boundaries to me.
That feels honest.
That feels good, even though it may sometimes be like the high dive :)
enJoy,
Grace

Genius

2009-02-11T12:27:00.000-08:00

please , treat yourself and watch this :

http://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_gilbert_on_genius.html

enJoy,
grace

Catherine Monanhan Tenendios

2009-01-27T12:59:00.000-08:00

My daughter , Catherine, has left the country.
She's not that far away. She's in Mexico with a wonderful friend, Amenee, working on organic farms. So far, it's been a good experience for her. But from the mama stand point it has been a wee bit of a roller coaster ( the size in the kiddie section of the amusement park). I trust Catherine implicitly. She has a very clear connection to her inner voice and follows her intuition. As a graduate of Outward Bound ( 30 day trip) and NOLS ( 75 day trip) she is very well equipped to handle herself and the elements. She will be 27 years old on 2/23/09 and is very mature for her age.
She moved to Eugene Oregon 8 years ago. Went to undergrad and grad school there and then worked for 2 years before making the decision to follow her heart and travel.
So what's the problem ???????
No cell phone.
For 8 years we could talk anytime we wanted. In between classes, at the grocery store, on long drives ( yes, we use headsets) , whenever we wanted, we just dialed. That's what made it possible for a mother and daughter who happen to be very, very close be able to go 8 years not living in the same state.
So, really it's not a bona fide problem as much as it is an adjustment. Because sometimes those phone calls from Eugene to Boulder were only a few minutes long but they were frequent. Time feels different when you are in touch that way. Those 8 years didn't seem as long as they sound because of the calls.
It was by phone that we "watched" the Democratic National Convention together and I committed to her to support her candidate. It was by phone that she called me in Ireland when her first love ended their relationship. It was by phone that I stood hiding in her office in Eugene that I tracked her down to surprise her for her 26th birthday. A lot of our lives have been experienced by phone for a long time now.
And here we are without that instant gratification. It's instant even if you get each other's voicemail because you still get to hear their voice.
And miraculously, we are still connected.
On Sunday , I was coming up the stairs when I thought, "Ok , this is enough, I want to talk to Catherine !" And with that, as I walked into the kitchen my email binged to let me know a new email just arrived. It was Catherine. She was letting me know she was going to have access to a phone in the next half hour so to make sure I picked up ! Just like that ! Sure enough we were chatting away in no time.
I've always told her we would always know if we needed one another. Mostly I believed that and a small portion of me was saying it to reassure my daughter as she went about the many different adventures of her life. On that Sunday afternoon I finally knew for certain it was completely true.
Connections of the heart, soul and spirit "don't need no stinkin' cell phone"
but.....
they sure are nice.
enJoy,
Catherine's mamacita, Grace
ps. you can follow Catherine and her travel adventures @ http://sendmeonourway.blogspot.com/

"Should" sucks

2008-12-15T08:11:00.000-08:00

I have this notion that this blog "should" be upbeat, inspirational etc etc.
Every night when I lay down to go to sleep I am writing something in my head.
Every morning , within seconds of waking, I am writing in my head.
And yet, I only sit down once a month or so and share.
No idea what the heck that is all about.
One of my dear friends, Diane, asked recently, "hey, didn't you "used" to have a blog - what happened with that??"
ugh
"Well... I still do ....... but, um, ah, em, ....... sometimes I think if I start writing I'll never stop"
Diane : " Isn't that the point ? "
me : "oooooohhhhhhhhhh, maybe, i guess, yes"
So, today I decided to type.
And guess what ? I don't feel remotely upbeat and/or inspirational.
I have an okay life.
By most standards in the world, I have a great life.
But inside, something is very, very empty.
The physical is all here. A roof over my head, a warm bed at night, a husband who financially supports us.
And sometimes I think that's why I am aware of the void.
I am not struggling every day, like so many people on the planet, just to survive the day.
The day is handed to me, full of abundance that many others don't experience.
And for that I am grateful beyond words.
And.... that's where the nagging comes in......
Since I have the blessings I do I "should" be happier, right?
And THAT is what doesn't feel good.
I'm not happier, at least not today.
sigh
So, I putz around doing things in the house.
I read other people's blogs to get inspired.
I wonder what the "bleep" I'm doing on the planet.
That's precisely what I used to coach other people about and now here I am.
What good are all the skills I have as a coach if I can't figure out this stuff - arghhhhh!
ADD moment - I just looked outside my window and it's beautiful.
The skies are blue, the snow makes it all look like a postcard AND it's 6 degrees - brrrrrr !
Hmmm, maybe there's a little bit of the answer.
Things may "appear" beautiful , wonderful, inspirational etc. but when you step into or outside of something the experience might be quite different than you expected.
My buddy, Drew Rozell, has been blogging about "contrast." ( google him, he's good)
Maybe that's all that's happening to me , I'm in the midst of contrast.
My last entry was all about gratitude. That was honest and real that day.
Actually most days.
And, in the midst, this creeps in or leaks out or taps me gently on my heart and says,
"I need a little more in here."
And I answer, " I know you do, dear, I 'm just not sure what "it" is."

enJoy,
Grace
ps- i really do need to figure out how to post pictures b/c it really is beautiful outside :)

gratitude

2008-11-24T22:43:00.000-08:00

if i wrote a list of all the blessings in my life it may take ...... a book.
someday
for now
i am filled to the brim
you know what i have an abundance of ????
LOVE
i recall saying at my son's memorial that i was the wealthiest woman of the world in FRIENDS !
the early years of my life were a bit lean in this department.
and then something magical happened
and i gotta tell you...... it's the best
maybe in the next few days i'll post about it all.
for now , my alarm is set for 4 hours from now at which what time i will get up, dress and head to the airport to fly back east for the first thanksgiving i have had with my mom and brothers in 19 years !!!
now there is fodder for so great future posts.
we are americans
we all will eat on thanksgiving
each and every one of us on this post will have a meal
and not JUST a meal but more than likely MORE than too much too eat.
we have it
we have abundance
and
we have a lovely new HOPE for a new america
what my family will miss , is my dear amazing mother - in - law , known to me as Mima.
Mima, i love you
i will miss you
your family is amazing
your children touch my heart and inspire my actions
they are wonderful
kind
respectful
thoughful
kind
and if you were here, i would say thank you one more time for the amazing example of unconditional love for your diverse collection of family that you and papa welcomed for over 50 years.
you set the bar high
our respect and love for you will have each of us do our very best to honor you
i love you mima
thank you, beyond words
but those words are known deeply and sincerely in our hearts
to my Moore family - i love you and will hold you close to me when we say our prayers on thanksgiving day.
mo matter where we are , our hearts are joined - forever
love
grace

Bodies

2008-11-19T09:21:00.000-08:00

here's a ramble about bodies... i think they are amazing !

since we awaken in one every day i don't really think that the majority of the time we pause to consider how magnificent that is..... all that happens without me "thinking it"... "ok, all parts on board - we are now going to go from sleeping to waking - 1, 2, 3 GO ".... can you even imagine all you would have to do to cooridinate that ritual ??? going to the grocery store can be an event for me - forget about putting the list together for an entire universe known as a BODY !

here are some fun things my body has allowed me to do over the last week or so :

* go to eugene, oregon to party with, pack up and drive back to colorado with my daughter , catherine. my body got to meet, hug, dine, laugh and dance with those near and dear to catherine's heart.

*have a visual party every single day while in eugene since they have a REAL FALL and the colors connected to the vivid memories i hold of growing up on the east coast - bliss.

*visit smith rock on the first leg of the trip and be awed by it's beauty. there i "imagined" my body being able to climb the face of the majestic rock while being very grateful that i could walk the path, see the beauty and feel the air.

*hold hands with my daughter while driving

*be in a car crossing state lines, navigating the roads, our hearts and our minds all along the way

*reminisce about catherine's life as she napped next to me. the daughter i had prayed for since i was a little girl was now the woman next to me embarking on one of the greatest adventures of her life and i am still "mom"

*feeling the aches in our bones letting us know we were done driving for the day. what an amazing built in safety system - state of the art - reliable and trustworthy

*held in my body i could feel my spirit quickening as we entered colorado - ahh home

*wed dinner with family and friends - lots of laughter

*wed. nite - the sweet comfort of my own bed - heavenly

*thurs. morning - one of the worst migraines i have had in awhile. so bad, i couldn't even take anything to ease the pain. i decided to be as still as possible and be grateful that nothing lasts forever and that eventually this would be over. as i gently repeated that as i was able to doze off and on. at some point i realized my body is perfect...something had entered that wasn't welcome and my body, without my interference, would handle it perfectly if i would just be still. as i layed there i thought of all the possibilites of all the things a body was capable of recovering from and the millions of people it happened to every day. this is where the awe & wonder of the body became so humbling for me. there is something else going on besides our thoughts. there is something and i refer to that something as divine. i don't know what it is but i do know it IS. after 36 hours the migraine was complete. i was very grateful

*friday morning - even more opportunities ....... for the first time in over 10 years i was NAILED by a whooper of a cold. now in this house, all my family members get colds on a somewhat regular basis - not me though. we all have marveled at that. now, we were all marveling at me having a cold. family and friends were very kind. offering to do things, bring things , get things.... sweet tender caring. i heard myself saying over and over , "cool thing is , nothing lasts forever and i'll be better soon." here's where my little mind kicked in - i was BETTER even with a whooper of a cold !!!! my body and all it does behind the scenes to allow me to do whatever it is that i choose to do on any given day was doing what it does magnificently. with a little cooperation from me (not painting the windows just b/c the temperature was 70 ) lots of fluids (ok so i thought about lots of fluids and drank some fluids) and accepting reality - all was well in light of the reality of the little cold critters. i decided to be an appreciative observer of my physical and when i did that it was a humbling experience.

*friday (yep same friday as the first day of the cold invasion) helped move my daughter into her new home and squeal with delight as we marveled at all the rooms (squealing is one of my favorite body experiences)

*fri eve to denver to an art opening for our dear friend darel.... his art is beautiful, tender and brilliant (causing more wonderings re:bodies and now brains and perception)

*sun - 3oth b-day celebration for heather and christian with the family at the dining room table - nothing and i mean nothing tops this body experience for me......ok maybe dancing with the family but that is such a rare exception i'm sticking with family dinner

*mon- the cold hits me like a mack truck and i am grateful to know this won't kill me and to honor all that is happening internally and allow, invite, welcome, intend healing - hahaha- remember, it's just a cold, grace

*tues - take catherine to the airport (she's off to her dad's for 3 weeks [he's so so so happy] )

and i hug her...............................

that's where the fullness of the body comes in.....all that is communicated body to body....all that happens body to body..... she came from my body and now she holds MY body........ in a few hours she will be holding the other body responsible for her being on this planet !!! and it will bring tears to his eyes the same way it brings tears to my eyes ---- 3 entirely different beings experiencing one another through the majesty of out BODIES..............

that is worthy of a pause today

that is worthy of a thank you

that is worthy of acknowledging there IS something more

our bodies may ache

our bodies may not look they way we want

our bodies may be ill

AND it is through our bodies that we are able to communicate all there really is - love.

whether we say it, send it energetically, hug it, think it WHATEVER

it will all be experienced in this moment because you are currently in residence in your body.

how great is that ????!!!!!

enJoy,

grace

2008-11-03T14:03:00.000-08:00

VOTE
many people believed, inspired and intended for all of us to have the right to vote in this country.
please , honor them and yourself by VOTING.
be the change.
enJoy,
grace

54

2008-09-18T07:34:00.000-07:00

no posts for 2 months.
lots of reasons, some valid, some plain old excuses.
mainly, i loved opening the blog and seeing Sean's name.
i like if front and center. it soothes my soul on weary days and makes my smile brighter on good ones.
today is one of my favorite type of days - i'm going to the airport to pick up my daughter, Catherine !
yay - clap clap - happy dance :)
she's been living in oregon for the past 8 years.
just a few years ago , i noticed she always seems to be here for my birthday and a few times, i've gone to oregon to be with her.
it's a lovely tradition that our hearts came up with all on their own.
in general, i think birthdays are a funny thing.
not funny - haha - funny/weird/odd.... something like that.
there are some perks.
i do like to call my children numerous times the day of their birthdays and recount the labor and delivery with them.
i'm not sure who enjoys it more, me or them but it is a fun.
my own birthday though feels weird sometimes.
mostly, because this whole marking of time seems to backfire on us more than move us forward or ignite us with joy.
i've been guilty of the back firing piece whenever i believe the thought "i'm too old for that" - whatever the "that" maybe.
and i've been joyful when i believe " wow, i'm probably going to live to be at least a hundred , so that's means i have A LOT of time to do a lot of things "
there's a cool birthday card most of us have seen :
" how old would you be if you didn't know how old you are ? "
for myself, some days, my insides feel much younger than my outsides appear.
other times, when i'm talking to a younger person and i hear "the voice of wisdom" coming from me , i think " shit, you sound old"
it's not necessarily the "old" that is decrepted, it's the "old" that has had a whole lot of trips around the sun.
but is that the truth?
no, not really.
it's the "old" that has come from a lot of living and a lot of experience while traveling around that sun.
my brother , Patrick, and i were talking yesterday about what it's like being us.
being "Monahan's"
being "human"
the "Monahan's" have had a WHOLE lot of experience being humans !
we've had a lot of love, laughter and heartache.
yesterday's call was about what it's like living as us considering all that.
allowing all that.
our dad, Big Bob, died at 54 years of age
our brother, Brian, died at 23 years of age
and Sean was 16.
i will be 54 on 9/19, tommorow.
54, the scarey age ( patrick reminded me that 55 will be really fun then)
my husband is having some medical issues. he's 58. i'm a little nervous.
my mom had a husband, brother, son and grandson die within 10-12 years time. ( many more but not the point of this blog)
i've had a dad, brother and a son die.
i don't want to be a widow. not yet.
this taps into what i refer to as me being a "freak"
worrying about things i don't get a vote on.
patrick says, this is what taps into me being human while dancing more in my spirit. (love that guy !)
here's where the "old" (aka wisdom) part comes in :
i know, that no matter what happens, i'll live through it.
as a Monahan ,like many other families,we now know that you don't get to say or believe if some tragedy were to strike us that "we wouldn't survive"
nope.
we survive.
most people do.
most people are much stronger than they want to believe.
most times, you don't know till the years have passed that you even had that strength inside of you all along to survive .
you don't know till you laugh so hard at something and tears roll down your face.
these are the tears of joy.
the tears of being alive.
and THAT's when you begin to notice your strength.
will you let yourself be happy?
will you let yourself feel joy?
will you let yourself remember the tragedy, whatever yours may be, and allow yourself to smile because you are here, you are alive?
i think it was said by bette davis, "old age is not for sissies"
i think it's more accurate to say "living is not for sissies !"
(and before you email, i'm aware of the political incorrectness of "sissies" but it worked for my flow of thought. apologies for any offense)
living well is a full time job.
i'm not talking about materialistically living well.
i'm talking about being human. the day to dayness of being human.
realizing you can be fully aware of the divine, God, the exquisite energy that is coursing through your being in every single moment of your life, being grateful beyond words for that awareness AND still lovingly embrace your tender humanity and all the personal eccentricity you bring to your flavor of being human ALL in the same breath ............
THAT'S living well !
Let me know how it's going
enJoy,
grace
big ps - my hard drive "vaporized" ( that's the exact word the guy at the apple store said to me)
and since i had NOT backed up anything what went POOF was everything : address book ( all numbers , emails, mailing address)emails, photos , iTunes, word documents - well everything -LOL. so if i haven't called or emailed in a timely fashion now you know why.
future blog : back up, back up, back up and after that back up your back up - hahahahaha
so if i'm not

Sean Monahan Tenedios

2008-07-22T14:42:00.000-07:00

Today is my son's birthday.

Sean was born July 22, 1979.

He was with us to celebrate our first wedding anniversary two weeks later on August 5th.

Easy anniversary. No gifts necessary. We held everything we could ever hope for in our arms.

I have had many experiences in my lifetime but none compare to that.

Okay , that's not exactly true.

Catherine and Colleen's birth were equally miraculous for different reasons.

All were "firsts."

Sean, my first born.

Catherine, my first daughter and the first girl born into our family since me.

Colleen, the sister for my beloved Catherine that I had wanted all my life.

Having 4 younger brothers and no sisters , I was certain having a sister was heaven on earth.

( you' ll have to check with them to see if they agree - wink , wink)

Nothing could have prepared me for the explosion of love I experienced when I first held him.

I loved my husband. I loved my family and friends

but nothing was like this.

I didn't even know it existed.

I was a goner.

"Isn't he the most beautiful baby in the world?"

"Isn't he the best baby in the world?"

"Isn't he so alert ?"

On and on I went to my mom who was there to care for me as she did with each of my children's births.

"You know, honey, you aren't the first woman to give birth? " she would say as I gushed about the wonder of Sean.

But to me, if felt like I was.

Surely more songs, poems, books etc would have been written if other mothers felt what I was feeling !

HaHaHa

Such sweet precious innocence.

And now, 29 years later, when I am with another woman preparing for the birth of her firstborn I am reminded of the exquisite unknown she is about to enter.

No amount of reading, talking, childbirth classes, talking with other mothers, even witnessing another woman giving birth can prepare her for what will happen when she looks into the eyes of her newborn.

For years with my children I have recounted the journey to their birth.

I will call and say, " I just had my first contraction."

I'm 4 centimeters.

On and on throughout my labor and delivery .

Right up to their favorite part, " It's a girl ! or It's a boy !"

I'm holding you, I'm nursing you, I'm loving you !

And then, they love to hear about calling all the relatives to announce their arrival and what each had to say when they were told.

I love it.

I love the memory of it.

and

I love seeing who they are today.

I especially love when I get to be with them on their birthdays to see their faces when I share the details of their birth day.

This year, my girlfriends filled in the space for me that I would have shared with Sean.

They even remembered the time difference since Sean was born on the east coast.

It was sweet and dear and honoring.

So , to soothe my human heart, I imagine some wonderful place where the fish are jumping and the weather is perfect and all the men in my life who blessed me with their presence are telling tall tales of their days on earth.

I love you , my sweet boy.

Happy birthday,

Mom

As my pal, Jesus, says...

2008-06-05T14:22:00.000-07:00

"And the truth shall set you free."

Sure will.

Especially, when it's about your own sh*t.

Yet another layer of "aha" this week.

Four times a month, I have classes with my dear friend, mentor and coach extraordinaire,

Wendy Down. ( www.wendydown.com - shameless plug)

We study and play with energy, the quantum field and/or,

as some people refer to it "woo-woo"stuff.

It's a blast, no pun intended. ( well, okay, maybe a little one)

We are all committed to undoing our unconscious conditioning. And if not fully committed , at least curious about how it can be done.

This has fascinated me for years because I'm not a big fan of pain.

Years ago when I heard the statement, " Pain is a inevitable, suffering is optional," I was stopped in my tracks.

On far too many occasions, by simply answering my phone, I have heard devastating news.

We all have.

For years after hearing about the death of my 22 yr.old brother via the telephone, I was jolted every time the phone rang.

It was a horrible way to live.

That was the beginning of my search for inner peace.

Many times it took me down new and unfamiliar paths. Each time I was guided by my intention to at least not add needless suffering to the present pain . I had done enough of that and quite frankly, it sucked. The price of suffering is enormous. It truly is a bottomless pit.

Today, many, many, many workshops, books, satsangs, religious pursuits, coaching sessions, therapy sessions, prayers (lotsoprayers) , ceremonies and classes later, all roads still point back to me, the truth and God.

Yep, not in one of those places did I ever find a legitimate, moral or ethical way to blame other people or circumstances. And believe me, I searched. Being a victim is quite seductive and can be a very powerful position but there is never true healing down that road.

Instead of finding a way to blame my choices and behaviours on others , I was led to some amazing teachers.

Byron Katie, Eckhart Tolle, and a list so long , I would be through menopause by the time I finished typing it.

But mixed in with the ones I paid to see and the ones I purchased books to study, were the everyday teachers and healers that showed up in the loving presence and sometimes not so loving presence of my children, family, friends, clients,people in the grocery store. other people in the classes and workshops.

Over time I realized we are all each others teachers and healers when we really listen.

What does all of this have to do with "the truth?"

Back up to my class with Wendy this week.

During this amazing call, I told the truth. the messy crabby truth.

With all my great insights and wisdom and access to peace, I was CRABBY.

I knew I was crabby.

I sounded crabby.

And, I didn't want to be on no stinkin call to do no stinkin work on being "pure awareness".

Okay , so I didn't actually go that deeply into it on the call but they got the drift.

This was a big risk for me because usually I'm the quiet one or the one who just shares a little pearl of wisdom that pops into my awareness and all is well.

Not this week.

I had decided that something that had happened earlier in the week was a betrayal and HUGE misrepresentation of me and my character and my thoughts were in obsessive mode like no other.

Oh yea - my ego had a hold of my ass big time and it wasn't letting go.

LOL -just like a crab !

HaHa , that just hit me :)

"Great" says Wendy and Reggi who were leading the call and excited to share some new technique on releasing habitual patterns.

"We'll use Grace and everyone can tune into Grace or whatever is happening for them."

My confession, I love this stuff. It reminds me of Jesus.

In my world, Jesus, was/is, us.

Anything he could do, we can do.

That was the whole point of the miracles.

To show us what is possible.

I'm in.

We do the process.

I feel a tremendous release and yes, peace.

Each person shares their individual experience and then Reggi checks in with me.

And just like that, as clear as a bell , I realize I have been confusing accuracy with the truth all these years.

I have been heard saying more than once, " I don't mind hanging for something I did but I sure as hell mind hanging for something I didn't do!"

I could accept responsibility for the things I had done but not for the things you perceived I had done. So then naturally, I thought it my job to point out all the inaccuracies.

Unpleasant.

Unproductive.

Crazy making.

Accuracy is dependent on perception.

The truth that shall set you free is Divine.

It is not an umbrella to live under.

It is expansive and unconditional.

It's like yoga, you can always go deeper.

This has been a "parting of the seas" miracle for me.

During the call this week I decided one of my blog topics would be exactly this.

And today , when I checked the previous entry for comments , one of my angels "Bluesailor"

had exactly this in her comment.

Don't you just love Divine confirmation???

I do.

enJoy,

Grace

My Intimidating Comma

2008-06-04T14:47:00.000-07:00

comma |ˈkämə|

noun

1 a punctuation mark (,) indicating a pause between parts of a sentence. It is also used to separate items in a list and to mark the place of thousands in a large numeral.

ORIGIN late 16th cent.(originally as a term in rhetoric denoting a group of words shorter than a colon; see colon 1 ): via Latin from Greek komma ‘piece cut off, short clause,’ from koptein ‘cut.’

intimidate |inˈtimiˌdāt|

verb

frighten or overawe (someone), esp. in order to make them do what one wants : he tries to intimidate his rivals [as adj. ] ( intimidating) | the intimidating defense lawyer.

ORIGIN mid 17th cent.: from medieval Latin intimidat- ‘made timid,’ from the verb intimidare (based on timidus ‘timid’ ).

“I enjoyed reading your blog.”

“I look forward to sharing this blogging journey with you.

“You’re a natural born writer, keep it coming.”

Many similiar messages have been emailed or spoken to me.

I was encouraged.

I felt blessed.

And then, I froze.

I wasn’t quite sure what happened. There were some naggy little hints though. When people would comment,

"I read your blog and then you stopped writing."

“I checked your blog every day for a while but there wasn’t anything new.”

And then out of the blue , (as if there is such a thing) I was talking to my dear friend, of 20 plus years, Sally.

Before I go any further, let me ask you a question?

Do you have certain people in your life who know the DIRECT path to your heart and your truth?

The person, who the nanosecond they ask you a question, BOOM , there’s the truth !

It just flies out unencumbered, simple and true.

I have a few of those and Sally is definitely one of them.

She is also one of my biggest supporters.

A friend, who has seen and experienced my good, bad and ugly and then some.

AND, she still loves me and encourages me.

In the world of being human, Sally is a rock star. And someday, with her permission, I will share how I arrived at that awareness.

Back to my point.

Sally simply , lovingly said to me , “ I thought you would write more often than you have….”

Me, “ I’ve been intimidated by the comma.”

And there it was – unencumbered, simple and true.

I have been intimidated by what I consider the professional bloggers. Throw in the people who get paid to write, write books, have sent me beautifully written emails ( Anja ) well pretty much anyone who knows exactly when and where to place a comma and I am as frozen as an igloo in Alaska.

Ahhhhhh that feels so good to say !

Sally in her unwavering love just laughs .

The laugh of a friend who knows the depths of your soul and wants to coax it out and share it with all the world.

She asks/says , “ Whaaaaaat ???!!!!” in a manner that lets me know I am letting my brain get in the way of my heart.

I hear the self judgement, the critcal voice and the paralyzing banter that has kept me from doing what I think about most of my waking hours,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, it has kept me from writing.

And that has been the reason for the pause in my blog.

The intimidating comma in my self expression.

Sure , I still prefer a microphone but for years there has been a writer in the closet and it’s time to let her out.

I have written while in the shower.

I've written while driving my car.

I've writtten while sleeping.

I just haven't put it down on paper.

Titles come to me, topics appear out of nowhere, situations arise and I think - oooooahhhh that would be a good blog.

It happens all day long.

When I was 21 years old, my best friend Haley and I “drove cross country.”

I vividly recall driving into Boulder, Colorado and saying to her, “Some day I’m going to live here.”

At the time I had no idea how that was going to happen and yet 15 years later, it did.

The other day a woman asked , “ what do you do?”

I said , “I’m a coach part time and I am a writer.”

HA !

"Did I actually just say that out loud?????”

I have no idea how going to happen but I promise it won’t take 15 years.

What is it that your soul longs to do?

What have the people who know you best been telling you for years?

What will it take for you to let your true self out of the closet?

For me, it has been the unwavering support and encouragement of family, friends and clients,.

Remember the saying, "If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times?"

It may take that sometimes.

If there is someone in your life who is not currently fully expressing their souls desire and you see it, keep encouraging.

It doesn't matter how many times you've told them before because every moment is a NEW moment.

Continue to share the beauty you see in them.
And.......

If it's you and the people who love you are still singing the same tune to you, maybe it's time to listen to the melody.

Eventually, love will tip the scales of fear and there you'll be, just as God intended you to be.

And that is worth expressing.

enJoy,
Grace

ps - it has been shared with me by the hip, cool people in the know, that the way to check out my blog regularly, if you like, is to bookmark the page and then just pop in to see if anything is new. as always i welcome your comments and questions :)

Brains and Bodies

2008-05-21T13:51:00.000-07:00

I’ve been in a delicious whirlwind of life.
And my little body is tired and it feels good. It feels good to recognize “tired”.
So here’s my disclaimer : I’m going to blog and not think about punctuation, spelling or grammar. I may even be wild and crazy and not spellcheck ☺
I would like to say thank you to all of you who continue to send your supportive and encouraging emails re:this blog. It is a lovely hug to my heart.
I just watched Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor on oprah.com , Oprah Soul Series Webcast. It’s a 4-part interview for Oprah’s XM radio show that was videotaped, so we actually get to see the RADIANT Dr. Taylor joyfully sharing her experience of having a stroke and all the many insights she gained from that time. I’m fairly certain, if you are reading this blog, you have already seen Dr. Taylor on the fabulous Ted.com giving her speech at the Ted Conference about it. I am humbled beyond words by this woman and her honesty. Prior to watching it, I had lots of ideas about what I wanted to write today. Now, as I sit here, laptop on my lap ((hahahaha) all that is present is what is present around and in me, not in my thinking mind. The sound of the water rushing over the rocks Jerry artfully placed in the farmers ditch outside the window to soothe us, the cars humming by on Iris Avenue, the sun through the curtains and the miraculous awareness of being able to feel the tiredness in my body. The hunger in my tummy, the irregular heartbeats I am having, my toes being cold, the pillows supporting my back, the everything that IS. After I heard and saw Jill Taylor talk about the body, I am blessedly aware of the enormity of the miracle I call "being human" and everything that goes with the privilege of having this body. I have lots more to share on this but I am going to wait till I share my request and hear back from you.
Dr. Taylor also said the part of our brain, the collection of cells, that is responsible for holding on to the past, our story, our pain, our suffering, our identity etc. is the size of a pea or a peanut, I don’t remember which in this moment , but that’s it ! That how small the collection of cells is! It’s located in the left hemisphere of our brain. She said she was fortunate to have the hemorrhage there. She was granted a clean slate by that bleed and she is eternally grateful. She also said, if she could go back to the morning of the stroke, a stroke that took 8 years to recover from, she would say, “yes” knowing what she knows now. She wouldn’t trade it for anything!
I find that to be, God speaking to me , to us, via Dr. Jill Taylor.
My request to you – please watch the speech on Ted.com and then the 4 part interview (each part is only about 25 min) and then let’s have a dialogue here. Let me know if you are having any divine whisperings in your ear.

Be still.

Listen to the silence.

And then , let's chat.

enJoy,

Grace

Update: I’m looking into changing the format and program of the blog. This one doesn’t seem very user friendly for either of us. Drew Rozell has a very cool blog. If you get a chance to check out his, and I highly recommend that you do, let me know what you think of it. He uses wordpress. If you have any recommendations please do share.

blessings !

"Being" it !

2008-05-02T09:02:00.000-07:00

Someone left a message for me the other day asking "when did you become such a little buddha?"

Ha !

I am who I am because of everyone I have every encountered, loved , read about, laughed with, danced with, cried with, fought with, learned with and most of all LISTENED to.

Yesterday I read this article and wept with the joy of pure inspiration. Women like these women change my world even though I will probably never personally meet them. They are now part of what is possible and I LOVE when that happens.

All day I kept thinking about these girls and wondering, " What if..."

What if we all knew and lived from this place inside of us........

I hope I have this place and if I do that I could rally and make the choice they did.

Guess what? I don't honestly know? Do you?

enJoy,

Grace

here's the link: if for some reason it doesn't work - google "Unbelievable" Act of Sportsmanship

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/05/01earlyshow/main4061276.shtml

Learning Curves

2008-04-25T11:07:00.000-07:00

Thank you so much for your loving encouragement here and by email.

I've yet to figure out how to respond to each of your comments individually on the blog, so for now check your email inbox for my notes of gratitude .

I've been thinking recently about RISK.

Our youngest daughter is graduating from college in a few weeks.

( Congratulations Colleen !)

We have had many conversations about jobs. She majored in psychology and minored in social work. Early on in her academic pursuits she wanted to work in a social work agency/setting. During her internships she discovered she has a gift with children. The increase in choices has been a bit of a stress for her. One afternoon we were discussing money, where she would live (she's currently here with us) and which road she "should" pick. Which one was The Right One?

"Colleen, what makes you feel the most excitement when you think of it?"

"Mom, I don't know this all feels like so much pressure!"

"How so ? You are highly qualified and so far anyone you have interviewed with wants you, so you get to be the one who picks. "

I must admit here, I thought that was a good thing but from the look on her face I could tell I was missing something.

"What is it honey, where's the pressure coming from?"

"Mom, it just seems like such an important decision and if I make the wrong one now then my WHOLE life will be ruined !!! How do people does this? It's too much for someone my age to know."

"Your WHOLE life depends on this?"

"YES, what am I going to do?"

This was a long conversation. When it ended, we had covered: listening to her own inner voice, the recession, the war, being homeless, disappointing others , being a kid vs being a grown -up and her biggest stomach ache - money.

Over the next few days I contemplated all she had shared. I thought about my own life and how the choices I had made over the course of 53 years had impacted me and so many others. And then it just hit me.

I remembered her saying, "it's all so risky."

There it was RISK.

What the heck is the deal with risk anyhow , I wondered. She had done many risky things in her life. She sky dived, she went to Spain for a 9 weeks without knowing one other person. The list goes on and on.

What makes something a safe risk, something we are willing to do and take our chances on compared to the type of risk that causes us to say, " nope, nada, no way , not doing it, NO" - what is it?

I think it is not about what's out there or what might happen that stops me. I think it's my willingness or not, to know myself, my deeper inner core. Am I willing to discover who I might be in a certain situation? Is the experience I'm considering worth finding out what I'm made of, what I rely on? Am I willing to experience me ? How deep am I willing to go to find whatever it is that will allow me to be fully present to the unknown? It's not the external unknown, it's the internal unknown that challenges me. The parts of me who have yet to make an appearance.

This world seems to be moving so fast sometimes. It seems we have become a people who are anesthetized by drama, stress, news, our relationships and worst of all the illusion of control. To slow down, to be still, to stop long enough to even begin to recognize our own inner voice, I've been told by some, is self indulgent and a luxury of the wealthy.

That stuns me.

How else will we choose?

What will guide us?

Everyone has an opinion. Just mention you are going into social work or working with kids and they will be more than happy to share their great insight with you.

If we truly listen ,often times people's "opinions" inform us what frightens them, what they are concerned about in their own life. Are we to allow someone else's fears to inform our choices? How will my daughter or myself or any of us know what makes our heart happy, what makes us come alive if we aren't even familiar with that quiet still voice?

So, I ask my loving , compassionate, brilliant young daughter, " Honey are you willing to be bold, are you willing to be courageous, are you willing to be still and go where NO ONE else can go - deep within yourself and listen from there?"

Are you willing to be happy?

I pray, yes.

enJoy,

Grace

Divine Order

2008-04-23T11:56:00.000-07:00

Divine Order continues to amaze and delight me.

For years dear, faithful, loving family, friends and clients have encouraged me to blog. I've resisted. They continued. I made excuses, mostly to myself. They watered the seeds. I would tell myself and them, " I'm getting closer."

I found lots of ways to distract myself and fill the space that could have been used to write. Ironically, a lot of that was done by reading other people's blogs. Hmmm, gathering information that I don't have what it takes to be interesting. Ahhh, love doesn't look to be right, only fear is interested in being right. Ouch, I'm not being love to myself. I'm feeding myself a behind the scenes diet of fear.

And that, I realized through the loving encouragement of those near and dear to my heart. Thank you. Each and everyone of you who have continued to share over and over and over the same message.

I remember being in a 12 step meeting some 20+ years ago. An older gentleman stood up and shared his story of recovery. He said he was often asked, "what brought you here ?" and he answered honestly, " each and every drink i ever had was necessary to bring me here and I am grateful for them all."

So, what brought me here today to write and share? Each and every encouraging word and every excuse and I am grateful.

Today, I was sitting in my yard trimming the blossoms of the dandelions ( Martha Stewart tip) and talking on the phone to my friend , Amy. She was sharing a self perception, a self criticism. It baffled me because I know her, I've been with her, I've seen her and I can't even imagine how she arrived at that particular conclusion about herself. I asked if I could share my perception of her and she agreed. Needless to say it was quite the opposite of her own self assessment. I realized in that moment that when we are self critical it can have similar detrimental side effects to those who love us just like second hand smoke does.

AND then she whammied me. "Grace, you know how you wish so much that your vision of me could be my vision of me?"

Ummm....... yes.

"Well that's how I feel about you and writing."

I was listening, mostly. And I was also still trimming the dandelions. And then I stopped and really listened to her. I was in motion coming into the house (this is the divine order part) as she was looking up this website on how to do a blog Long story short, we signed up and in together. She stayed on the phone till I made it through and then hung up to go to the grocery store leaving me with the firm instruction to write my first entry. Something beautiful and peaceful came through me. I felt held. Held by my angels and guides, held by every person who every encouraged me to do this, held in the hands of divine order and God. And so, I continued through the process with the universe conspiring on my behalf. As a good friend would do, Amy called me back in 10 minutes. "Are you writing????" Hahahaha.

Yes, I am.

enJoy,

Grace